Love the Animal. But Do You Want the Life?

Before You Get Another Pet

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Amy Castro:
Before you get another pet, there's one piece of research I want you to do that has nothing to do with finding the cutest puppy, kitten, or latest viral animal online. I want you to research what your life is actually gonna look like once that animal is in it.

You've reached The Pet Parent Hotline. I'm Amy Castro, and this is your Pet Parent Power Up. A few minutes of practical advice to make life with your pets a little bit easier.

And if you heard this week's episode, you know I talked about some of the beliefs I wish people would stop carrying into pet parenting,

Research the Life, Not Just the Animal

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including the idea that getting a baby means you can create the pet you want, or that small animals are automatically easy, or that wanting a particular type of animal is a good enough reason to get one.

But today I want to give you one practical way to avoid making a bad match in the first place.

Before you bring home another animal, stop researching what it's like to own that pet and start researching what it's like to actually live with that pet. And there is a difference.

Most people do some version of research before getting an animal, at least I hope they do. They look up things like the size, how big is it going to get, lifespan, how long is it going to live, what kind of food does it need, exercise needs, temperament, and maybe find out a little bit about common health issues.

And all of that is completely useful information. But a lot of that research kind of stays at the brochure level. It tells you what the animal is, but it doesn't always tell you what your life is going to be like once that animal becomes part of your daily routine. And this is the part that I want you to really dig into.

So picture an absolutely ordinary day, not the adoption day, not the day you pick up your pet or the first weekend when everybody's super excited and buying toys and giving that pet undivided attention. I mean some random

Picture an Ordinary Tuesday

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Tuesday, six months from then, when you're tired, the weather sucks, you've got work you need to finish, your house is messy, and nobody is feeling particularly ambitious.

What does that animal need from you on that Tuesday?

If you're thinking about a dog, what does the exercise and training really look like when you'd rather stay inside on a crummy day? What happens if the dog needs more activity than you expected, or more structure, or turns out to need more help with behavior than you thought?

If you're thinking about a bird, what does daily life look like once you factor in the noise, the mess, the cleaning, did I say mess? And the mess? And the social needs and the enrichment needs and the decades of care that animal's going to need.

If you're thinking about a rabbit or a reptile or even fish or another small animal, what does maintaining an appropriate environment actually require once the novelty's gone?

That's the research I want you to do.

I also want you to look at the annoying parts of having a particular pet. Nobody ever likes to admit that there are annoying parts, but I seriously want you to dig into this.

Don't just ask people why they love that particular breed or species of animal. Ask what drives them crazy. Ask them what they wish they'd known. Ask what costs more than they expected or takes more time or effort than they thought.

That information is much more useful than hearing 10 people tell you how wonderful their pet is. Because if all you do is research

Research the Annoying Parts

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why people love golden retrievers, you're probably going to want to get a golden retriever.

What I want you to know is what life looks like during shedding season, when everything you own has hair on it, when the yard is muddy and that golden retriever wants to roll in it and then jump on your white sofa, when he or she is chewing up everything in sight for the first four years of their life, and probably gets into something they shouldn't have eaten and you're sitting at the emergency vet, or even just simply what it's like when the dog needs more attention and you're trying to get other things done, because that is pet parenting too.

And I think the same thing applies to exotic pets. You know, social media can make unusual animals or even usual animals look incredibly appealing because you're seeing the fun part or the interesting part.

Every time I see an Indian ringneck parrot video where they're talking and they're kissing and they're acting super cute, my brain says, Oh, I really want one of those.

But at least for me, I have experience having birds for a short period of time when I fostered them in rescue. And then my brain reminds me about the expense, the feathers everywhere, the poop on everything, the specialized care that they need, or trying to find a good vet that knows that species.

So that's what you need to do too. You need to find people who've actually had that type of animal and get to the reality of what it's like to really live with them.

So if you're thinking about an animal you've never had before, you need to actively seek out people who've been living with that species for years,

Talk to People Who've Lived It

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not three weeks, years.

Ask them what surprised them after the novelty wore off. And if you can, talk to somebody who no longer owns that pet and find out why. That can be incredibly revealing.

You want to talk to me, I can tell you why I wouldn't have birds again, I can tell you why I wouldn't have ducks again, I can tell you why I wouldn't have chickens again, I can tell you why I wouldn't have a tortoise again, or goats. That's probably all of it at this point that I can remember, or even fish. Wouldn't have any of those things again.

And, you know, it's not that I didn't love those animals, and probably the person that you would talk to if you got a friend or family member that had those pets, they probably love that animal, but eventually realize that something was just too much and the care became overwhelming.

And I'm not saying that those stories will necessarily be your experience, and they may not automatically be a reason to say no to a particular pet, but they are information, and good decisions need information that doesn't only confirm what you already want to believe.

I also think there's value in doing a little personal honesty check before you bring a pet home. Nothing dramatic, just being realistic about who you are and how you actually

Be Honest About How You Actually Live

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live.

You know, if you hate getting up early, don't assume a pet's gonna magically turn you into somebody who loves sunrises. Or if your schedule's already packed, be careful about choosing an animal that needs a lot of daily structure and interaction.

And if mess bothers you, don't dismiss that as something you'll automatically get over once the animal arrives. You know, maybe you will, maybe you won't.

The point's not to become pessimistic about being a pet parent to a particular pet. The point is to stop planning around a fantasy version of yourself and your life and that pet and make decisions based on the reality of who you are, how you live, and what that pet really needs.

And if you're choosing a pet for your whole family, don't assume everybody's gonna stay equally enthusiastic forever. People get busy, kids lose interest, work schedules change, and that doesn't mean that you shouldn't get a pet, but it means somebody needs to be the person who's still responsible when the excitement wears off.

And if you've done that homework and the answer is still yes, great. You'll be going down the pet parenting path with a much clearer picture of what you've actually signed up for and where you're headed.

And that's really the goal here. Not to talk you out of getting a pet, but to make the decision with fewer surprises and fewer assumptions.

If you do all the research and you decide, you know what, I love this animal, but I don't want that life,

Loving the Animal Doesn't Mean Wanting the Life

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that's not a failed decision. That's actually a successful decision made before an animal has to pay for it.

So before you bring home your next animal, spend a little less time imagining the fun parts and a little more time learning what an ordinary day is going to require from you.

That's your Pet Parent Power Up, and we'll see you next time.

Thanks for listening to The Pet Parent Hotline. If you enjoyed the show, text a friend right now and tell them I've got a show that you need to hear.

And remember, your pet's best life starts with you living yours. So take good care of yourself this week and your pets.