Why Isn't Training Working for My Dog?

If you've ever said, I tried training and it didn't work, then this episode is for you, because training may not be failing because your dog is stubborn, defiant, or impossible. It may be failing because the plan doesn't fit the dog in front of you. Today I'm talking with M. Breslin, host of the Dog Who Asked for More podcast, about what pet parents may be missing when training stalls, and why a one-size-fits-all training plan can fall apart. This conversation will help you take a step back and ask a better question. What does this dog actually need to learn? You've reached the pet parent hotline, your lifeline, practical solutions for your toughest pet parenting challenges. I'm your host, Amy Castro, and I'm here to help you cut through the noise and turn expert advice into step-by-step strategies so you can stop chasing your tail and start enjoying life with pets again. Welcome back to the Pet Parent Hotline. Today we're talking about something I hear all the time from frustrated pet parents. We tried training and it didn't work. And I get it why people say that. Usually by the time they reach that point, they're tired, discouraged, and starting to wonder whether their dog just isn't trainable. But that's not where I want the conversation to go. This isn't a why won't my dog listen episode, because that puts a lot of blame on the dog. And most of the time the issue is more complicated than that. Maybe the method doesn't fit the dog, maybe the environment is too distracting, maybe the human side of the plan isn't clear or consistent, or maybe the dog is stressed out, overwhelmed, in pain, or being asked to learn something before their brain's ready to focus. My guest today is M. Breslin, host of the Dog Who Asked for More podcast. Em is also a dog trainer, certified professional canine nutritionist, and retired veterinary technician with more than 20 years of experience in vetmed, behavior support, enrichment, and nutrition.

So, Em, welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. I always love coming on and talking about all things pet related.

Yes, well, we're that's why we're both in the right business, I think. Because that's what gets us going, gets us excited. But yeah, I appreciate you coming on here today because this is a topic that I've been wanting to talk about for a while because I hear people say a lot, whether it's people calling to relinquish a pet. And one of my questions is always, well, have you tried hiring a professional trainer or a behavior? Oh yeah, we did that. Training didn't work, you know, it doesn't work. And when you hear that, what's the first thing that pops into your mind?

First thing that pops into my mind is I've been there. I became a dog trainer because training wasn't working for me. And I discovered that it wasn't so much that the training wasn't working, it was the application of the training wasn't working for me. I try really hard to be very open-minded when somebody comes to me and says the training's not working. Uh because I really, really struggled with my dog fits. He really put me through the ringer. I mean, we went through probably three or four trainers very quickly because they wanted to do things that I was not comfortable with. Or we tried things for a while that I ended up not being comfortable with, like specifically an e-collar. Um, and it worked for a minute. And then it was like, oh, I can see that I'm repressing my dog's emotions here and I'm I'm not comfortable with that. And everywhere I went, it was let's put him on medication, let's put him on a prong collar, let's put him on an e-collar, you gotta do the whole domination thing. And I was just very like, hmm, I'm not on board with that. So when somebody comes to me and they say training isn't working, the first thing I want to know is tell me all of the things. Did you do all of the things that I did? Did you try different methodologies? Did you try different tools? Did you try to, you know, enrich your dog? I think that's kind of where it gets lost, right? Because if you're not doing all of the things, not just the training, you have to be doing all of the things, right? The diet, the enrichment, the playtime activities, all of that stuff has to be right for that dog. And I don't think a lot of people understand that. And if you have a dog that's sensitive or reactive or maybe seems like a little bit more particular than a normal, easy-going dog is, training isn't going to work because you're not speaking the same language as that dog. And you really have to kind of get on the same page. And I think that's where a lot of people struggle, is that so much advice out there is cookie cutter. It's a one size fits all. And that's just not how it is. Like we are all humans, we're all unique individuals. We all need a different approach. I probably learn very differently than you learn. And it's the same thing with dogs. And I think that that's something that a lot of people don't realize or are even prepared for because here we are just putting on these one size fits all applications for every dog we've ever met and not thinking about, oh, this dog might need to play first, or this dog might need to rest first, or this dog might need to eat first because they're too food motivated. And if they're not full, they're just gonna gobble those treats down and they're not gonna care about what you're doing to get the treats at all. So it really does have to be a deeper look at why isn't the training working, not just the training isn't working, because have you gotten curious about it is the real question.

Yeah, and I think sometimes, especially when you've hired a trainer and you've paid them good money, the assumption is they know what they're doing, and I don't know what I'm doing because I'm not a trainer, and my dog doesn't really know what they're doing because they're not a dog trainer. And so we just kind of do what they say, and they're in many instances doing just what they learned. And I think that's such a good point that you made. It's like three levels of factors feeding into there. There's the dog as an individual, there's the trainerslash methodology that's being taught, and then there's, which I think I kind of think it's a big piece of the third piece of the triad of success. Actually, I just made that up. But the third piece is the pet parent. Where do we really need to focus our attention more as pet parents?

So the first thing I always say is like, get curious, right? We have to be curious about what our dog likes, what they need, what motivates them, right? Fitz is a dog who he needs to play before he can get involved. He also is what I would have called a picky eater until I became a canine nutritionist and learned all the things that I have learned. And he would be treat selective or not food motivated. And what I came to understand about that was he was allergic to storage mites. So giving him kibble or treats that were stored in properly were actually making him feel worse, which is one, gonna motivate him not to take the treat, and two, not be a good motivator for him to interact with me in a training way because why would he want to make himself feel bad just to do what I want him to do? So I think that there's a lot of factors there, right? So, like the get curious is you gotta look at all the angles, you gotta look at everything that's involved. You need to figure out, you know, is my dog responding to this in a negative way because they don't like it? Why are they not listening? There's just so much to it. So you really have to kind of pull back all the layers and really be a detective in this area because you can try one thing and just say this doesn't work and give up, or you can try it in a different way. So, what I found is that Fitz is a dog who needs to play, right? And then we got to have special treats, or I make the treats, or we store the treats properly, or maybe we have a fresh bag of treats when we start training, because that is the thing that I know that prevents him from having the issue with the storage mites. So it's really just about finding those little nuances and implementing them into your system.

Yeah, I think the curiosity thing is something that just kind of went right over my head for probably a good piece of my life. And I and I think we're so quick to give up on things, you know. We try something once or twice and it doesn't work, and so we toss it out. Because that I do hear people say that a lot, you know, when it comes to stuff in the rescue, I'll say, Well, did you try doing XYZ? Yeah, we tried that, it didn't work. Well, how many times did you actually try it? Well, we probably did it twice. It's like, well, maybe it needs more time or what was happening during that time. I just I think we're just too too quick to give up.

Well, I agree with that completely. One of the things that is so critical when it comes to training your dog is consistency, repetition, and time, right? Like we want, again, instant gratification, just like you said. And that is not how it works in anything, right? And to expect our dogs to be like ding, instant training, like that's just that's not fair to do to them or to us. That's a really high bar to set. We don't send our kids to school to learn everything in one year. We do it over 12 years and then we want them to go to college after that, right? With dogs, why should they have to know something after we try it twice? Why can't it be two months, two weeks, two years? Like it should be whatever amount of time it takes for that dog.

I think another piece of that probably is not only do we expect an animal to pick something up immediately, but then we're trying to teach them 65 things at the same time. Come sit, down, stay, place. You know, it's like, what's wrong with that picture, right? I mean, like, how many things you can expect them to master all going at the same time?

I don't let my clients work on more than one thing at a time. Like they can come to me with a huge long list of everything that they want to accomplish and they can sign up for four weeks, they can sign up for two months, they can sign up for whatever they want so that we can get through the problems. But if you come to me and you think that you're gonna get through a list of 12 things in four weeks, you are dreaming because that's just not how it works. So, you know, we'll start with the basic things. And a lot of times people will say to me, like, this seems kind of ridiculous. Why are we doing this? And then, you know, four, six, eight weeks later, they're like, I now see how that silly little thing that we did at the beginning for two weeks now ties into everything that we're doing. Because it really is a process. And with dogs, if you teach them one thing and then you build on that one thing, all of a sudden all the pieces just start falling into place because that first thing sets a guideline and that guideline stays consistent through everything. And now everything else can just line up right next to it, and we have a very consistent, easy routine. We're teaching our dogs a pattern that they have to follow throughout the day. And if we follow this pattern every single day the same way, it's not gonna feel like training, it's gonna feel like part of the routine. And it really just then settles into your life and becomes part of how you operate. So you're not even saying sit down, come all the things. Your dog just knows what to do because you're doing that way every single day.

Yeah. You know, that point about consistency, I think, is huge because I think there's two levels to that. The first one is we might be consistent when we are first teaching it. And then we think, like let's just use sit as an example. At some point, and I've got three dogs, all of them knew how to sit. But um, you know, it's like it's like we say, okay, check checkbox, they know how to sit. And then we move on to something else that we're trying to teach them and never really focus on sit anymore. And then there's two, there's two pieces to that consistency too. It's the dropping it all together, or then I train them to sit and I I was so happy when they actually did it a couple of times in a row. And now I tell them to sit and nothing happens, but I'm on the phone, so I just move on and allow them not to sit. So there's inconsistency there. I feel like a lot of it has to do with these different levels of consistency on the part of the human that's trying to do the training. But then we blame the dog. I don't know what's wrong with him. He doesn't listen. That's like, how's that his fault? You haven't followed through, you know?

I completely agree with you. It is so funny how easily we shove like our misgivings onto the dog, right? Like, oh, it didn't happen the right way, the dog wasn't listening. Oh, the dog didn't follow through, the dog, you know, didn't learn it right. It's never our fault. The application is all us. So we should 100% be taking responsibility for things when they're not working because one, we're either not communicating properly, two, we're not being consistent enough, or three, it's a combination of the two, right? Like clarity and consistency combined is what gets us that well-trained dog. You cannot ask your dog to do something a hundred times and expect a different result. Because the the truth of the matter here is dogs do not speak English. You sound like Charlie Brown to your dog. You know, the adults in Charlie Brown, they're like, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. That is what you sound like to your dog. You you're telling your dog sit, you're telling your dog heal, you're telling your dog lay down or catch or whatever it is. You can say that a hundred freaking times, but that doesn't mean that your dog is going to understand what that word is. You have to teach them by association. That is how dogs learn. You know, they have to learn that you throw the treat, they catch it. You know, they hit their butt hits the floor, they get a treat. You know, maybe you make a little hand motion and this means sit, but you have to do that in tandem with all of the other things. And it really can become confusing. Again, if you're not doing it consistently the same way every single time, or if you're repeating yourself a hundred times, because you start repeating yourself, your dog is gonna check out because they don't understand you. And I think that that's where a lot of frustration comes in, right? I still do it. Like I'll catch myself doing it. I'll be like, sit, sit, sit, sit. You know, you can say their name a hundred times. If they don't know their name, they're not gonna come because that it's not gonna register. So a lot of that is again, that kind of like looking back at how I can make this correlation easier for the dog, how I can teach them to associate the word with the action and reward them for it. And doing that, you know, a hundred times over is way better. I think a lot of times what people, when they go to a trainer, they just assume that like sit is gonna be the command and that is gonna work right away. I don't let my clients use a word to associate with what they want until we consistently get the behavior without it. Because people change their minds too, right? Like they might want to use a certain recall word. I always tell people not to use come or hear because if you're at a dog park or you're out in public and your dog runs off and you yell come, or somebody over there yells come while you're working with your dog and then your dog jets off. Well, your dog was doing exactly what you taught them to do. Everybody's using the same word, that's a problem, right? So you really just have to kind of figure out what works for you and really apply it to the dog in front of you. And the this dog might be different than this dog. So if you're training two dogs, train them separately because what works for, you know, dog A might not work for dog B. And if you're trying to train them at the same time, not only are you confusing them, but you are expecting them to learn the same way. You're expecting them to be motivated the same way, you're expecting them to respond the same way, and that's just not ideal. But on top of that, you're adding in a layer of difficulty by putting them together because now they're distracting each other.

Yeah. Do you think that ties into um like the advantage of doing one-on-one training like that versus like going to a group class, or is there a place for a group class other than, you know, puppy social socialization or something like that?

I think that, you know, group training definitely has a place. I think that that's like next level though. I think, you know, everybody, everybody's like, oh, we signed up for training. We're going to group training. And then they go to their Pet Smart or they go to their local trainer that has group sessions or whatever. And you're taking a dog that maybe is a little bit more sensitive, maybe a little bit more anxious, or maybe it just has a really short attention span because they don't know what's going on, right? And we put them in these scenarios and expect them to learn with all of these different distractions. There's other dogs, there's other people, there's all these scents, there's maybe there's toys hanging up an aisle over. And then on top of that, you know, the setting is completely unfamiliar. We've been in the car, maybe they're ramped up, maybe they're overwhelmed. How do you expect somebody to learn in that kind of environment? So setting up an environment that's successful for your dog is really important. So when I teach dogs and clients, I want you to start at home in the least distracting area possible, the room that your dog is the most comfortable in. So if that is your living room or your kitchen or even your bedroom, fine, great. But cordon yourselves off, make a little training area and focus on getting those skills right while they're comfortable, they're attentive, and they're not overwhelmed or, you know, going off in a million different directions because there's too many new things that they're interested in understanding or researching on their own instead of paying attention to you.

Yeah. That's that's a good point because I remember having a trainer come over one time to work with my Doberman Jack, and he was very well trained in the house. Like, you know, I mean, I could do hand signals, like all kinds of things. And she said, Well, when I first got here, I couldn't really understand why you thought you needed a trainer. But as soon as we took him outside, everything went out the window. You know, it just it was and part of it is I hadn't taken it to that next level and done a lot of stuff outside. So that kind of goes back to the it's it's partly a consistency thing, but it's partly knowing, you know, what is the next step? Where do we go from here? And and I wanted to ask you about something because back in the day it used to be sit, stay, come, that kind of thing. Like, how important is it that you know like XYZ certain commands versus what you need to function well with your pet in your life?

Personally, I don't care about any of it. That like I what I call my type of training is relationship-based training. My primary concern is that the bond between you and your dog is solid, that that dog is checking in, that that dog is focusing on you, that that dog is making sure that you don't need something. My dog is asleep under the desk right now. Like he's just chilling, doing his thing because he knows that I'm doing something right now and that I cannot be attentive to him. That is more important to me than saying place and stay and down and all those things. I don't care about that. I want my dog to have freedom and I want him to interact with the world how he wants to interact with the world, and I want him to be comfortable while he's doing it. Now, if I have company coming over, or if I need him to go in the kennel because I'm leaving, or things like that, like you said, those are the things that I teach that fit my lifestyle. They might not be the same for somebody else. Maybe you need to have your dog be on a placemat for some reason during the day. Maybe you need your dog to sit or lay down or come or be good on a leash for whatever reason or be good in the car, you know, all different things. But that is why I believe that dog training isn't one size fits all. It should be specific to the household in front of you. And if you have two dogs that you're trying to accomplish the same thing with, again, you might have to go a different route to get that consistency for each dog, but it can be built in the same direction. And a lot of times one dog is going to get it better than the other dog. And if that dog can watch the other dog, sometimes things happen to fall into place a little bit better from that. So I don't really think that the primary focus should be on what my dog needs to do. It should be what fits our life, what patterns of communication need to exist to support that life, not control the dog.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then before people get all freaked out, I mean, I I do realize that there are certain things that probably are somewhat universal from a safety standpoint for your dog. I'm just thinking, you know, there are certain like the fact that my dog would place and be able to stay there for 10 minutes without getting up, like may not be something that I need to spend my time training on, but like you exactly like you said, there might be somebody else that does need their dog to be able to do that. So, you know, kind of going back to the theme of this episode, you know, is why is the training not working? So, what are some things a pet parent can do to ensure that they achieve their goals with training? Their dog.

So, I mean, obviously, first of all, like communication is really important. You should be able to go to your trainer, whether it's been an hour, a day, three weeks, or even a year, and say, hey, I am confused about this. I don't understand, or we're not seeing the results, or my clients are mostly virtual. So if somebody came to me and said, you know, we've sent you 15 videos on this, and I don't see the differentiation from video one to video 15, like, is there something that's not going right here? Like, are we making a difference? Are you seeing something that I'm not seeing? You should be able to approach any professional, trainer, veterinarian, nutritionist. Like you should be able to ask direct questions. If you cannot ask direct questions, if you cannot question how you feel about the situation, like that's a huge red flag for me. Um also, when you do talk to your trainer, you your trainer should be willing to pivot. If you're feeling like something's not sitting right or the method isn't working, or maybe you discovered on accident that something works better and you brought that to your trainer, your trainer shouldn't go, oh no, that was a fluke. Your trainer should be like, okay, let's play with this. Let's see what happens. Let's try it this way and then see how that compares to how we've been doing it. And if it works better, they should be willing to shift into figuring out how that fits into the plan for you. So really, really communication is such a huge, huge, huge part of it. If you cannot openly communicate with, again, any professional that you work with to support your dog, that's a big red flag for me. Um second, I think that when it comes to working with your dog, your trainer doesn't get the full picture, right? You send me videos, I get a picture into your world. So if you're seeing things that are happening, you know, in your 24 hours a day that you spend with your dog that I'm only maybe seeing five to 15 minutes of because that's what you've sent me, you need to be informing me, you need to be taking notes, you need to be really looking at the situation for what it is. So this is where that curiosity thing comes in. Because if if you're just looking at the situation and not kind of figuring out, is this working? Is this, you know, helping my dog, but you're just kind of blindly doing it anyway, you're not really helping the situation, right? So you have to be tuned in. You have to pay attention. And and in order to really communicate well, you have to be able to pay attention and be tuned into your dog because you're not going to see those little things that you wouldn't see if you weren't tuned in and paying attention, right? There's so many little things like body language that I think just doesn't get taught on a regular basis to people. This is something that I educate heavily on. I actually even have a website, a page on my website dedicated to body language. And I have a video library showing different, like this is what it looks like when my dog has this type of reaction, kind of thing. Because the the biggest problem with understanding, I think, is misunderstanding, right? We expect our dogs to be feeling a certain way just because we've seen this dog on the internet do it a million times, and this is what this dog looks like. But when my dog does it, he looks a little different. So does he feel the same way or does he maybe have different feelings about it? And so you really kind of have to dig in and figure that out. Be a detective because you can't make forward progress without kind of going backwards and figuring out where the root of the problem is. So I think that that's really, really important. It's again that self-reflection, looking at yourself, what you can do to help the situation. And then on top of that, really understanding the dog, really getting a feeling for the dog, knowing when the dog is on and when the dog is off. Because if you're trying to work with a dog that's not ready to learn, you're not gonna get anywhere. And I think that a lot of people think that any time is a great time to train a dog. You get the treats out, you do the thing. But like I said earlier, Fitz is a dog that has to play beforehand, right? So we have to go through some things in order for that learning brain to be turned on. Because if he's too focused on getting outside and playing with that ball, he is not gonna pay attention when I'm saying sit down, spin, all the things, because his mind is not engaged. So really you kind of have to pay attention to those three things. Again, it's back to the dog, the trainer, and the the human, right? Because if all of those elements are not working together, you're not gonna make progress. So you really, you really do have to make accountability for all three parts because if you're not if you're not doing that, the training isn't gonna work. And and that's just the fact of it. Also, be present. I've had situations where I've had clients and I've gone over to their house and we've been working with their dogs, and I turn around to say something to the client and they're not there. Like gone. You have to participate in your dog's training. Like your dog is not a robot, your dog is not an iPhone, you can't download an app and program them. That's just not how dogs work. You have to be involved, you have to be present, and you have to be paying attention and engaged. Because if you're not, or if you're only doing it halfway, your dog's not gonna learn. And then also, as a human, when you're in that be present checked-in thing, are you able to be in that mindset? Do you have a headache? Are you thirsty? Are you hungry? Do the kids need to be picked up from school? Are you supposed to be somewhere in 45 minutes? Pick a time and an environment and a like part of your day that you can specifically dedicate to that dog, even if it's just five minutes. But your focus should be on the dog. It shouldn't be all over the place because now you're like the dog that needs to play before they can train because you're not checked into the process either.

Yeah. I think that point that you made as far as basically not being a robot, that really resonated with me because I mean, I consider myself an intelligent person. I think I'm pretty good at reading pet body language. I've done, you know, some training in it. I've had thousands of rescues come through my life. And yet the times where I have gone to work with a dog with a trainer, it was like I'm a total, like a total moron. Like I just they tell me what to do, and I do, you know, I just do it like they do. You go down to the end of the sidewalk, takes the same number, either number of steps, turn around, come back. Like I'm not even thinking about what I'm doing. I've almost felt like I'm more worried about what the trainer is thinking about me and whether I'm doing it right, it, whatever it might be, than really focusing on what's happening with the dog. And I think that's that became really, really evident because when it, it was a it was a dog that we actually had, it's a long story, but when I went to go pick up the dog, this was a trainer that was big into e-collars. And I don't even necessarily want to go down the path of, you know, my beliefs on that at this moment. But um it was quite evident to me when I got there to pick up the dog and, you know, had it transferred to me or handed over to me. It's like, here's what we do, here's how we do it with this dog, that that methodology was not working for that dog. Like it was so obvious. And it was almost like this is what we do when we train dogs. Like it didn't matter what dog it was, everybody had a knee collar on. And I that may just be me, what I saw at that moment in time, and that may not be true, but it was like so evident to me that if I kept going down the path when I brought that dog home using that methodology, that long term that wasn't gonna work out well for anybody. So, but that was like the first time I ever actually paid attention to what was happening with the dog because it was so obvious. It was just completely unnecessary. The dog was so sensitive, it did not need that additional correction. So I think that's such an important point. Goes back to what you said about it being a relationship-building thing. It's not just about your dog sitting, it's the relationship that you build with them, it's their response to it, and it's treating each dog as an individual. And if you can't find a trainer that's willing to work within that, you probably have the wrong trainer, I would guess.

Yeah, no, I I I agree. You know, I uh I will briefly touch on my feelings about e-collars because, like I said, I used one with fits and um the the first trainer, you know, that that's what she did. She put it on him right away. And it it worked for a while, right? It it he he responded and all the things, but then it was like I started noticing things like I would pick up the remote and he would flinch, or he would just barrel through and do whatever it was that he was doing anyway, even if I was correcting him, you know, things like that. And it just became very apparent to me that like he was a different dog when he didn't have it on. And that was when like I went, huh. I wonder what would happen if we if we took this away. And that's kind of when the real learning for him began, and the real learning for me began because same thing, I was doing exactly what they told me to do. I was so worried about my timing, I was so worried about my treat delivery, I was so worried about when the corrections came in, all the things that like I was focusing on am I doing this right? Not is my dog responding in a way that I am comfortable with, or it that my dog is comfortable with as well, versus what our relationship would look like without me focusing on me and like dragging him along behind me because that's effectively what I was doing, right? Yeah. And and so then when he started having the elevated reactivity stuff, I was like, you know what, this this is like really, really not, this is contributing to the problem. And so we removed it and that's that that changed everything for us. Now, as far as like using e-collars for other dogs, again, I think it's a case-by-case situation. I will never teach people how to use an e-collar because personally I don't trust people to use them properly. So I just personally will not do it, but I will refer you to somebody if that is what you are stuck on, because there are people out there that I do trust to teach it properly and teach it in a positive, encouraging way. But it just isn't a right fit for all dogs. And if it's about control for you, if you want the e-collar because you want to control your dog, then I'm definitely not going to refer you to anybody because it shouldn't be about controlling the dog. It should be an understanding, it should be a relationship, it should be a mutually respectful situation. And I think that people who think that, you know, dogs who are aggressive or dogs who, you know, need those corrections should have some kind of, you know, collar, prong collar, e-collar, whatever. I you're looking at a little bit of a different situation there. And anytime that you shock a dog, you're just aggravating that situation. I uh Kim Brophy is uh, she's an author and a dog trainer, she's like a behavior specialist, and she wrote a book called Meet Your Dog. And it breaks down all the different types, you know, guardians and uh retrievers, and it just separates them all into like categories of qualities and likes and dislikes and all the like genetic traits that are kind of fall into those uh categories for the dogs, and it really kind of helps you identify some of like the behavior things that your dog has. And if you can identify those little quirks that your dog has, it's a lot easier to train around them because you understand what you're looking at, and that makes it easier for you to kind of shift into, okay, my dog learns this way, or my dog looks at things this way, or they're really food motivated when it comes to this stuff, but maybe they're toy motivated when it comes to this stuff, and that's all because their genetics play a role into their behavior. So it's something that I really highly recommend anybody reads because it will give you a little bit of insight on some of that behavior stuff that we automatically just as humans think, I don't like that, I'm gonna fix it or I'm gonna control it. When really it's your dog's genetic well-being that's kind of just popping out, and there are other ways to help them satisfy that so that they don't redirect, so that they don't bite, so that they don't growl, so they don't rip up your garden or your couch or whatever it is that you are, you know, upset about. So I really do think that it is just seriously about, you know, understanding the dog and its motivations versus trying to suppress their feelings.

Yeah, that's such a great point because um, you know, one of the things that I've always found a bit frustrating about doing rescue is that everybody wants to know what kind of dog is that? Like, how the hell do I know? I didn't I didn't have the puppy, so therefore, how do I know what it is? And, you know, most rescues and shelters don't DNA test the dog to find out what kind of dog it is. So here's what we do, folks, just so you know. We look at the dog and we say, well, that looks like a, and some of us are better at guessing than others, and sometimes it could be really deceptive. And and sadly, even the software that we use to advertise a pet for adoption requires you to put in, well, it doesn't require, like you could put, you know, American shelter dog, but I guarantee you there ain't nobody out there looking for an American shelter dog. So nobody wants to do that, right? We want to put lab, golden retriever mix, whatever it might be that we can that we can put in there. And so I think, you know, we're we're focusing here on the what makes training not work, and that I think it's so important what you just said is to know the the material that you're working with, you know, it's like what do I have in my hands? If you've got a herding dog and you don't want it basing your children and nipping at their heels, you know, that's that's a that's a different ball of wax than you have a, you know, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel that is running around with your kids in the backyard, you know, that kind of thing. And so I mean, do you highly recommend, you know, when somebody comes, a new client comes to you with a puppy and it's like, I don't know what he is, to get a DNA test, or what are your thoughts on that?

I mean, I don't require it. I do think it is kind of like a fun little thing that we can do because I mean, you're gonna have, for example, you're gonna have a chihuahua, right? You had a chihuahua that's like maybe a little barky, maybe, you know, kind of a brave little guy that's got things to say to everybody who comes in the front door. And then you have another kind of chihuahua who's just like a little potato that doesn't really care, you know, but they're both full chihuahuas, their genetics, again, are not gonna be the same. They're their emotional responses are not gonna be the same because even though they're the same breed of dog, their mom carries them in her womb. And all of the mom's trauma, all of the mom's experiences, all of her feelings of, you know, good, bad, overwhelm get passed down into the womb and that genetically redisperses out through the puppies. So because the mom's situation is a unique situation and how that redistributes into how the puppies, you know, form, that is something that's going to change with every litter. So you're always gonna have those variables. But I do think that knowing, especially if you're struggling with your dog, what maybe some of those indicators could potentially be could be really helpful to you because, like, you know, Fitz has some crazy breeds in him, you know, like I would have never guessed, but he's got Sharpe in him. I would have never, I would have never guessed that, you know, and it but he's also got a lot of working breeds in him. He's got a couple guardian breeds in him. So he's got herding, he's border collie, you know, so it's all over the place. So kind of being able to identify that and go, okay, well, I just saw that behavior. He just knocked, you know, my mom over in the yard while she was gardening. Guess we better get the herding ball out, kind of thing. It's just knowing how I can help him is beneficial when I know what those things are that motivate his little brain to do what it does sometimes.

No, that's a good point. So it's a you know, it can be a helpful piece of the of the puzzle of getting that picture of, especially if it's a new pet, you know, and you don't you don't know their personality very well, you know, it can it can be a just another tool that you can use to start that curiosity, like you mentioned.

Yeah. Yeah. And those those DNA tests, I mean, you can get a range of them, right? You can get the really extreme ones that break down, like, do they have the genetic markers for these health conditions? Or you can just get the one that says, you know, like here's what breeds are in your dog, kind of thing. So you don't have to spend the the 200 and whatever dollars. I think you can spend like 69, 75 bucks somewhere in there and just higher that information.

Yeah. Yeah. And it's I think it's it's been helpful. I mean, we've we've used it a few times in just like I can think of one puppy in particular, and I am by no means a breed expert, but I have seen a few dogs come and go in my day. And we have this little puppy, and if you'd I mean, I might not have bet my life on it, but I would have bet a good amount of money that that dog had a lot of malinois in her. And that's a whole another ball of wax right there, right? Just the things, the thing the behaviors that she was exhibiting. And, you know, we had a great adopter lined up, and it's like, I wonder if I should DNA test this because that particular breed requires a special kind of person. And if that dog to me had, you know, 80% Malinois, that's very different than, you know, 3% somewhere in there and a bunch of other stuff that have long snouts and like to make eye contact with you. I don't know. But um, you know, it uh and it turned out she did have quite a bit of malanois, but I think it helped, you know, I think uh in some instances it could really help somebody get into the right mindset that, you know, this is the kind of breed that I'm that I'm taking on and these are the things I need to do to give it because the the whole goal of all of this, right, uh is to create the best quality of life for you and the pet to live together until death do us part, right? I mean, you that's the goal with whatever it is that you're trying to accomplish with this training.

Yeah, exactly. And I mean, that's that's the thing too. Like when you're bringing a dog into your life, like before the training even starts, like setting yourself up for success as a human is really important. And if you have a better idea of what that dog is and if you're able to accommodate that, like if you're not a person that wants to spend hours training your dogs tricks or you know, keeping them motivated and entertained all day long, don't get a border collie or a healer. Just don't do it. If you don't want a dog that's like a a sports dog that needs to do dock diving and barn hunting and you know, all kinds of other things like that, don't get a malinoir or a German Shepherd. Like pick a dog that fits your lifestyle, like number one, first and foremost. And so, you know, do a little bit of research. And I know everybody says that, but when I say do your research, I mean actually look at what this breed likes to do. Actually look at like the quality of life that you can give this dog. Like if this is a dog that's considered a working breed and they spend, you know, eight to twelve hours a day out in the field herding sheep normally, what can you provide that dog for eight to twelve hours a day that's going to be like that? Do you have a yard? Can you go on walks? What about bike rides or maybe car rides? Things that you can implement into your day so that this dog isn't shredding your carpet or nipping your feet or chasing the children on bikes down the block, you know, all kinds of things like that. You should have an idea of what you are taking on, what you're signing up for, because I know a lot of people say this, but you know, you need to get a dog that fits your lifestyle. You don't get a dog for the lifestyle you hope you're going to have. Because if you do that, like you're setting yourself up for a bad situation. You know, I that's what I did. I got a I got a dog. He was supposed to be a service dog, and I got a reactive, crazy guy that doesn't like strangers. So, you know, no service dog. Right. Our expectations.

Profile there.

Our expectations.

Yeah. Yeah. But and you know, but part of that too, and I don't want to belabor this point, but I think part of that too hinges on the fact that, you know, if we're looking for a breed of dog that fits our lifestyle, then you're looking at either I need to go with a purebred or I need to know what this is, what this mix is, and you know, and it's so it's it's uh it kind of becomes a a chicken and an egg thing. But I think even if it's not necessarily knowing what the breed is, but you know, spending time with that animal and you know assessing energy level, even just the size of the animal, you know. Like I said, I used to I used to be a big dog person and I realized as I've gotten older, now I know why old people have little dogs. You know, it's like um I just don't have the don't have the energy to put up with a lot of big dog stuff or doing big dog training, things like that. So I think it is important that we're realistic about our our lifestyle. No matter what our neighbor has or our sibling has or what's in the latest movie or what's the latest craze is that it's it's about finding something that we can be happy with and that could be happy with us.

I love that you said that about like what's in the latest TV show or the latest movie, because like right how Something about those dogs that doesn't get talked about enough is those dogs are highly trained, highly engaged pets that, you know, they work all the time. I have a friend who has five border collies and most of them star in movies quite frequently. But the amount of time she spends working with those dogs a day to get them so that they can be okay on a movie sit and do exactly what she wants them to do is excessive. Like it's her job, right? I mean she has to do it like it's a job.

Yeah.

Yeah. So if you have three kids and they're all in soccer and baseball and swimming, you don't need to be spending 12 hours a day training your dog because you want it to be like that border collie you saw in that movie.

Well, and you won't. The bottom line is you won't, and you're gonna end up with a very unhappy dog and a very unhappy family. And that's uh, you know, that's just the reality of it. So all right. So to bring this little conversation home, but uh, you know, I think we've hit on a you know a lot of these reasons why training can seem to fail, and maybe the the directions that we need to look at to assess why things aren't working. And it's you know, it's more than just what I think a lot of people do is they they blame the dog. You know, my dog just doesn't listen. And it's you know, it's it's way more than that. You've got to look at a lot of factors. But if you had to give some, you know, a last bit of advice to somebody who's maybe struggling with a particular training issue right now, what would you say?

I would say don't be afraid to ask for help, whether that's calling the rescue, whether that's talking to trainers, whether that's going to your veterinarian and maybe talking about getting referred to a behaviorist, whatever it is, ask for help. Get curious about your dog. Figure out if it's a food problem, figure out if it's a pain problem, figure out if it's just a genetics, you know, clash mismatch in the house problem. And do not, whatever you do, compare yourself to the dogs you see on the internet. Your house, your dog, all of that stuff. Your dog is not like any other dog in the world, and that is the best thing about your dog.

Yeah. And I would add to that, don't wait to ask for help until you're at the end of your rope either. Because that's there's no reason everybody should be suffering along the way. Ask for help early when you first realize something's not working. You know, jump in then. Don't, don't be embarrassed, just reach out. And especially if you got a dog from a rescue, call the rescue. I'm I'm I'll take that call 24-7 to try to point you. If I don't know the answer, I'll point you in the right direction. But I want it to work and I don't want it to get to the point where you've been struggling with something for six months and everybody in your household, including the dog, is miserable and now you just want to return it. It's like, gosh, I sure wish you'd have called me six months ago. And, you know, I I maybe could have helped. So please, please do that. And speaking along those lines, tell us about your podcast, because I know that is a great source of help for dog parents. And then also about your your training and how people can get a hold of you for help that way.

Sure. Um, so my podcast is called The Dog Who Asked for More. Um, it started because of my dog fits because he needed more. Yeah, I had to become more. I had to learn more to help support him in the right way. And that is what the podcast does. It teaches both sides of the leash, you know, what to look for, but also like validates how you're feeling because I was that person that was online at two o'clock in the morning shifting through Google and YouTube and and Instagram and all the things, trying to figure out how to help my dog. And so instead of making somebody else suffer what I went through, I put all of that information in one place so that one, you don't have to feel alone, but two, you can kind of get an idea of where to start. Um, because that's that's I think what most people need is you just need a good solid place to start. And there's a like over 200 episodes now, so there's a lot of information out there and a lot of my personal stories so that you don't have to feel like you're the only one going through it because yeah, we still are going through it and it's been eight and a half years. So um definitely that. And then, you know, if I always offer uh free consultations, so I am a canine nutritionist, I am a dog trainer. You can set up a free consultation with me through, I'll give Amy the link to put in her show notes. You feel free to just set up that 15-minute consultation with me. You can sit there and ask me anything you want, and I will be happy to give you ideas and um information and help and things to look into because I think that that's kind of again just the most important thing, having that place to start, but also getting a fresh set of eyes on your problem, right? Like you are in it, so you are not gonna see how to get out of it by yourself sometimes, and having that outside perspective can be life-changing for you and your dog.

Yeah, that's so important. Well, thank you so much, Em, for being here and sharing your experiences and two pet podcasters. Boy, we could just go on and on about this. But I I appreciate you making the time to be. Well, like, yeah, I'd like to have you come back and talk about the nutrition piece because that's, I think, a huge piece of the whole puzzle. But I appreciate you making the time to be here today and sharing your experiences.

Yeah, absolutely.

Thank you so much for having me. I love this conversation because it takes training out of that past-fail mindset. If training hasn't worked for your dog, that doesn't automatically mean your dog's impossible. And it doesn't mean you've failed. It may mean the plan needs to change. It may mean that your dog needs more support. It may mean the environment's too much or your expectations are too high, or something's being missed. And one of the biggest takeaways from this conversation is this don't wait until you're at the end of your rope to ask for help. If something's not working, get curious early, talk to your vet, talk to a qualified trainer, reach out to the rescue that your dog came from, ask better questions before everyone in the house, including the dog, is miserable. And if this episode made you think of someone who's frustrated because they feel like their training has failed, please share it with them. Sometimes the most helpful thing you can give another pet parent is not another command to try, it's a different way to look at the dog in front of them. Thanks for listening to the pet parent hotline. If you enjoyed the show, don't keep it to yourself. Text a friend right now with a link and tell them I've got a show that you need to hear. And ask them to let you know what they think. And remember, your pet's best life starts with you living yours. So be sure to take good care of yourself this week and your pets.