Ask These Questions Before You Say Yes At The Vet

EPISODE TITLE

What To Ask At The Vet So You Don’t Leave With Regret

HOST

Amy Castro

Amy Castro (00:00.92)
Have you ever walked out of the vet and thought, ugh, why didn't I just ask that one question? It was in your head, you almost said it, and then you didn't. And now you're sitting in the car staring at your bill and thinking, well, that sure escalated. Well, today I'm gonna help you talk to your vet about money, priorities, options, and even how to say no without sounding cheap, difficult, or like you don't care about your pet because I know that you do. And at the end of this episode, I'm gonna give you a link to a simple cheat sheet.

with all of the exact phrases so you can save it in your phone and actually use it in the moment. So stay tuned.

Amy Castro (00:41.688)
You've reached the Pet Parent Hotline, your lifeline to practical solutions for your toughest pet parenting challenges. I'm your host Amy Castro, and I'm here to help you cut through the noise and turn expert advice into step-by-step strategies so you can stop chasing your tail and start enjoying life with pets again.

Amy Castro (01:06.19)
Before we get into anything today, I want to tell you don't write anything down. Just sit back, relax, and listen. I'm going to give you a link to a cheat sheet at the end of the episode with all of the exact phrases we're going to talk about today. And I just want you to hear how they sound out loud and process them as a listener. Because this episode was prompted by a message I got from a listener that made me laugh and sort of cringe at the same time.

She basically said, Amy, I feel like my only two options at the vet are either silence or going full on Karen. And she was like, I don't want to blur it out. That's nuts. I can't afford that. But I'm embarrassed to say I can't afford it. And I know if I don't speak up now, I'm going to be stressed about the bill later. And I was like, yep, that's exactly it. So today we're talking about a third option.

the one where you don't stay quiet, but you also don't have to cross that line into Karen land and sound rude or defensive. You just sound like a normal responsible pet parent trying to make good decisions. So here's what I see all the time. People don't stay quiet because they don't care. They stay quiet because money is kind of an awkward thing to talk about, especially with somebody who's kind of a stranger.

and they don't wanna sound like they're questioning the vet's expertise. I mean, they did go to a lot of school after all. So instead of saying what they're really thinking, they kind of nod and smile and walk out and panic later. And that's how you end up with receipt regret. You don't regret caring for your pet. Your regret is not understanding what you agreed to or feeling like you didn't have a say in it in the first place. And I wanna say this too, because I think it helps to take some of the pressure.

out of the room and out of the conversation. I know what vet techs get paid. I consult with veterinarians all the time. Most of them are not rolling in extra money. They're hardworking people and they're the ones that are key in caring for our pets. But the point is, is that for some people, they work in a vet clinic because they get a discount and it's the only way that they can access a lot of the care for their own pets. And for vets, most of them are carrying

Amy Castro (03:18.081)
hundreds of thousands of dollars in student loans. Then you add the cost of running or buying into a practice, the equipment, the staffing, the rent, all of it. And they've got a lot of pressure on them, financial and otherwise. So when you're worried about money at the vet, you're not a unicorn. They get it. They live in the real world too.

and most of them will work with you if you're upfront about things. Your goal should not be to make them feel like the bad guy for what they charge or what they wanna do with your pet. They are doing the best with what they've got to work with and they are trying to offer you the very best. The goal is to get on the same team about what you as a pet parent can actually do working with them for your pet.

And when it goes sideways is when people get ugly, they start blaming and yelling or try to make staff feel guilty about the cost of care. And that's not advocating for your pet. And for those of you who are kind of on that other end of the spectrum, maybe you don't go from zero to 60, but you kind of stay at zero. You don't have to keep quiet either. You can speak up with respect and that's what we're here to talk about. So the first piece is the mindset shift. If you listen to the pet parent power up episode that came right before this one,

We talked all about the mindset shift. If you haven't listened to that, make sure you go back and do it. But the gist is this, you're not being difficult by asking questions. You're not challenging their education. You're just trying to build a plan that you can actually follow through on. And that helps your pet way more than having a tantrum or silent agreement. So let's do this together for just a minute. All right, I want you to imagine for me that you're sitting there in the vet's office.

and the vet just laid out a long list of things that need to happen with your pet. And you can feel yourself start to shut down because you're thinking not about the procedures, but about the money and the trips back and forth to the vet and everything else, and you don't want to sound like a problem. Instead of freezing, you could say something like, if we can't do everything today, what would you start with? That doesn't sound bad, does it? If you were the vet hearing that message, it sounds like somebody who cares.

Amy Castro (05:27.454)
and wants to do what matters most. Or you could say something like, all the things you mentioned, what's the most important thing we can focus on first? Now you've got priorities that you're trying to get straightened instead of spewing out panic. And if cost is on your mind, you could say something like, are there any less expensive options that still treat the main issue?

I don't think that's being cheap. I think that's just being honest and asking for options. And if you happen to be sitting there and your brain feels like it's going to explode with all the information that's just been given you, it's okay to basically ask for a timeout. And all you have to do is say, excuse me, I hate to interrupt, but this is a lot of information. Can we break this down into steps or can we go over each of these one by one?

Just doing something like that, slowing the flow of the fire hose of information can change the whole tone of a visit. Because now you're not just getting a laundry list, you're getting a plan that you fully understand. And when you're unsure about whether something is necessary, because that's one of the ones that people struggle with, is that they figure, the vet wouldn't offer it if it's not necessary. And to be perfectly honest, if you say something like, well, is that really necessary?

The first thought in any human being's brain is gonna be, well, I wouldn't have brought it up if it wasn't. But what you're trying to do here is you're trying to assess the degree of necessity and again, prioritization. So you could say something like, what problem is each of these things treating? So if there's several procedures that are being laid out, what problem is each of these treating? Because that way you can get in your head which problems you might want to deal with first. If you've got an itchy dog,

who also has a really bad ear infection. The itchy might be a long-term thing that's gonna take a while to resolve, but the ear infection might be something that you could resolve with some drops and cleaning in a week or two. Maybe that's your priority, and you pay for those medicines and you get that treatment started. So hopefully you're following where I'm going here. The other thing you can do is you can kind of flip the tables a little bit, is if you say, it looks like there are a lot of things that you're recommending.

Amy Castro (07:44.831)
And then here's the question, if we skipped one of these things today, which would worry you the most? So that basically, if they're having a hard time telling you exactly what they think is the number one priority, to say of these four things that you think we need to do for Fluffy, if I had to skip one of these today, what would make you the most worried? And that will give you pretty quick clarity on what's the most important.

Another question that you can ask if you're wondering about urgency and how quickly, like maybe it's just one thing that the veterinarian is recommending that needs to be done with your pet, but you're trying to figure out, I really have to do this today or this week? Because sometimes they'll say, here's what it is, and let's get you on the schedule for it tomorrow. And you're like, who, who, hold on a minute. I need to get my head around this a little bit. You can ask, is this something we need to do today or can we monitor it for a while? Or could it wait till next week after I get paid?

you can kind of fill in the blank, but that is a powerful question. You is it something that needs to be done today or can it wait? And how long? So I know those were a lot of questions I tossed at you, but I hope in listening to those that you can see that with the right communication skills and with easy but properly worded questions, we can ask questions without seeming like we are questioning or being difficult. Now here's the part I really want you to hear.

Even after you ask your questions and you get the explanation, you might still decide something just isn't right for you or your pet or not something that you're willing to do. And that is not failing your pet. That is, in my opinion, making a thoughtful decision. So we're going to talk about saying no to a treatment. If it's something that you've decided based on asking those good questions and feeling like you have a fully rounded view of the problem, how do you say no?

Well, first of all, don't over explain. All you have to really do is say something like, I'm gonna hold off on that today. Doesn't mean you're never going to do it, but you're not going to jump into it today. Or you could say something like, let's pause on that for now. Let me get home, think about it, and I'll get back with you. And another thing that you can say if you just need some time to think is to say,

Amy Castro (10:04.266)
I feel like I need a little more time to process what you've shared before deciding. And you can even ask, what would be a deadline I could give myself where I really should have a decision on this? And all of those things are totally normal. You don't have to commit to something in the heat of a moment. As a matter of fact, usually when we commit to something in the heat of the moment, we're making a huge mistake because we haven't had time to process information.

Another question that I really like to ask, and it kind of ties into the waiting or saying no to a procedure, is to ask about the consequences of doing something or the consequences of not doing something. Now, generally, they're pretty good at spelling out, if you do this, here is the projected outcome for your pet. But until you ask, what would happen if I don't do this?

you're probably not going to get that because the assumption is you're gonna take action. But I think it's always interesting to ask, can you walk me through what happens if we don't do this right now? Sometimes the answer is it's urgent, you've gotta do it right now. And sometimes they'll say, well, it shouldn't be a big deal as long as you get this done by June, you know, and that could be months from now. So sometimes it is truly okay to wait. Or you can say, can you walk me through what happens if

we don't do this at all. So let's say, for example, your veterinarian has identified that your pet needs a dental cleaning. You can ask the details, what they need, and you can ask, can you walk me through what happens if we don't do this at all? And they'll tell you how the dental issue with your pet will continue to proceed. And then you'll need to make your decision from there.

All right, and instead of going home and falling into the Google, Reddit rabbit hole and not only getting 9,000 differing opinions and scaring the crap out of yourself, ask your vet for real resources. Say something like, need some time to think about this. Do you have any resources you'd recommend so I can learn more? Because I think that science basically beats internet chaos every time.

Amy Castro (12:16.603)
And so there's probably a veterinary journal article or further information that they can either give you a web address for or a printout on or whatever it might be so you can take home the information, digest it along with what your veterinarian said and go from there.

Now, the good news after telling you all these things about asking questions at the vet is the premise with asking these questions always kind of starts with the idea that veterinarians in general are gonna offer you what's called the gold standard. So they might know five, six, seven ways that you could progressively tackle an issue, but because many pet parents want the gold standard, like what is the optimal thing to do?

or because obviously veterinarians want to give the very best care to a pet, they're going to offer the gold standard, okay? But what we're asking here is we're asking for information so we can decide if there are alternatives or if there is a progression that we can follow through to basically coming to the same positive conclusion for our pets. And the good news is that many more vets today are being trained to offer those options because

The veterinary world is listening to the pet parent that says, I can't do the gold standard. Everything is so expensive these days. And they realize that it's better to start working towards a goal with a pet's health or doing something to relieve pain and suffering than to do nothing. And so many more vets are preempting a lot of these questions by offering not just one expensive plan.

but different ways that you can approach care depending upon the urgency of the issue for the pet and the budget. And again, that's why it's so important to indicate that finance is an issue for you in making decisions about your pet so that they will be already clued in to offer alternatives. So just to note there that if you're hearing only one option, it's okay to ask if there's other options. I think that's being informed.

Amy Castro (14:25.671)
and making an informed decision, not being difficult. And certainly these are not all the questions that you could possibly ask at the vet. There are many more, but at the end of the day, remember that you're the one that's making the decisions for your pet. Your job is not to say yes to everything, okay? Your job is to choose what you understand, what you can afford, and what you can actually follow through on for your pet and your lifestyle. And that is good pet parenting.

Okay, so remember the cheat sheet that I mentioned at the beginning. So all of the types of questions that I've spewed out to you are in that cheat sheet and more. There are additional issues that might come up with the vet that will be addressed there as well. And I made this cheat sheet because when you're in the exam room and you're stressed out, your brain is not gonna remember any of these things that I just said to you. And I know it was really quick because I try to keep these solo episodes short, all right? So.

Your brain's probably gonna forget half of this. And the cheat sheet has all of the phrases plus more organized by situation. So you can pull it up on your phone and use it real time. So you can get that cheat sheet at petparenthotline.com forward slash vet visit questions. So be sure to save that link now so it's there when you need it. Petparenthotline.com forward slash vet visit questions.

So remember, you don't have to leave vet visits feeling overwhelmed, and you don't have to feel pressured while you're in there. And you don't have to nod your way into regret. Ask your questions, take your time, and choose what works for you and your pet. Take good care, and we will see you next week. Thanks for listening to the Pet Parent Hotline. If you enjoyed the show, don't keep it to yourself.

Text a friend right now with a link and tell them I've got a show that you need to hear. And ask them to let you know what they think. And remember, your pet's best life starts with you living yours. So be sure to take good care of yourself this week and your pets.