Should You Get A Dog For Your Dog, Or Is It a Big Mistake?

EPISODE TITLE
Should You Get A Dog For Your Dog, Or Is It A Mistake?

HOST
Amy Castro

GUEST
Dr. Rachel Malamud, Veterinary Psychiatrist

SUMMARY
A lot of pet parents assume their dog is “lonely” and that a second dog will fix it. In this episode, Amy and veterinary psychiatrist Dr. Rachel Malamud break down what “lonely” can actually mean, how to assess your dog’s real needs, when adding a second dog makes behavior worse, and how to decide if bringing home another dog is the right move for your home.

LINKS
Show: The Pet Parent Hotline
Guest website: https://www.behaviordogtor.com
Facebook Group: Pet Psychiatry and Behavior Support for Pet Parents
Instagram: @dr.rachelmalamed

AFFILIATE DISCLOSURE
No affiliate links were mentioned in this episode.

VETERINARY DISCLAIMER
This podcast is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for professional veterinary advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified animal health professional with any questions you may have regarding your pet’s health or behavior.

TRANSCRIPT NOTE
Transcript is lightly edited for clarity and readability. Timestamps are preserved.

CHAPTERS
00:00 Hook: “Boyfriend/Girlfriend” Matchmaking For Your Dog
00:33 Show Intro
00:57 Why People Think Their Dog “Needs A Dog”
01:57 Don’t Get A Second Dog To Fix The First Dog
03:12 How To Assess Fit, Life Stage, And Body Language
05:33 Dog Park vs. Home Compatibility
06:55 “Is My Dog Lonely?” What That Really Means
07:43 Separation-Related Behaviors vs. True Separation Anxiety
09:55 Are Some Dogs Happier As Only Dogs?
11:05 When A Second Dog Makes Things Worse
13:12 The Real-Life Management Cost of Two Pets
14:49 Structure, Resources, And Safety In Multi-Dog Homes
16:05 Social Facilitation: How Dogs Copy Each Other
17:12 Should You Fix Current Behavior Issues First?
20:31 “How Do You Want To Live?” Lifestyle Reality Check
20:31 Signs It’s Working Out Well
22:23 The Upsides When It’s The Right Fit
24:23 Foster First: Try Before You Commit
25:45 The 3-Part Decision Filter: Capacity, Compatibility, Motivation
27:23 Where To Find Dr. Malamed + Closing

TRANSCRIPT

Amy Castro (00:00.974)
Do you think your dog needs a boyfriend, girlfriend, life partner, or a sibling? Or are you projecting a whole love story onto a dog who's like, ma'am, I'm fine. Please stop trying to cast me in your rom-com. Today, Dr. Rachel Malamed and I are breaking down how to tell whether your dog's lonely and needs a friend, when a second dog might be helpful to you, when it could be a terrible idea, and what changes for you and your dog. So stay tuned.

Amy Castro (00:33.282)
You've reached the Pet Parent Hotline, your lifeline to practical solutions for your toughest pet parenting challenges. I'm your host Amy Castro, and I'm here to help you cut through the noise and turn expert advice into step-by-step strategies so you can stop chasing your tail and start enjoying life with pets again.

Amy Castro (00:57.518)
Hey there, I'm Amy Castro. And if you found this episode because you're worried about your dog and you don't know what to do next, you are in the right place. Today we're talking about the question that sounds sweet, but can go really sideways really fast. And that is, does your dog need a dog? And I'm here with veterinary psychiatrist, Dr. Rachel Malamed to answer that question. Dr. Malamed, welcome back to the show.

Dr. Rachel Malamed (01:07:001)
Thanks for having me.

Amy Castro:
Glad to have you here and I'm glad you made the time because I was going to try to tackle this topic myself and I thought, who am I to say? Like, let's go to the top. Let's go to an expert because I've been seeing a lot of things and I face this in rescue too, where people will come and it's not even like they particularly have a need for another pet, but they feel like their pet needs a pet. So when you have people that come and say, Hey, you know, I think my dog's lonely. Should I get him a friend? What's the kind of the first thing that pops into your head. Because the first thing that pops into my head is like, no, don't do it.
Next.

Dr. Rachel Malamed (01:57.678)
Yeah, I mean, I think it's really about setting realistic goals based on the dog you have and not the dog you hope they'll become with a friend. So I always tell people, if you're going to get a dog, that's great, but make sure it's because you want another dog for yourself and it fits your lifestyle. It needs to fit the paradigm for other reasons of which there are many, but getting a dog to fix one dog's problem or to be a companion to a dog doesn't always go the way we hope. Sometimes that dog can come with its own behavioral issues or maybe we don't have the resources, whether it's emotional, financial, or we don't have the time to spend with our dogs. Getting another dog can really spread us even thinner. So there's got to be other reasons, I think, for considering another dog.

Amy Castro (03:11.383)
For sure, yeah. And we actually have done an episode based on five questions to ask yourself before you get another pet, right? And it was just kind of really focused on the pet parent. But you hit on some good points there as far as behavior and things like that. So let's say I do really want another dog, but I haven't really assessed whether my dog really needs another dog. Like I just presume he must feel the same way I do. What would be some of the maybe emotional needs that we'd want to look at for our dogs. And I'll just use my dog Gunny as an example. Like, I think she could pretty much take or leave everybody in this house. People, maybe not people. She likes me. But I don't think she has any grand need. I don't think she would suffer. She doesn't really interact with the other dogs unless she absolutely has to. But yet I have another dog, Gigi, who I almost, like the other day I said, do you think we should get a puppy for Gigi? Because she just is dying for somebody to play with her and nobody wants anything to do with her. So that's kind where I'm going. Like how do you assess that as a pet parent? What's right for your pet?

Dr. Rachel Malamed (03:54.766)
I I think that it really depends on how your dog gets along with other dogs, but it's also about finding the right fit for your dog too, and for your family. And knowing what signs to look for, and it comes back to body language, which I know we've talked about before. Sometimes we interpret things that maybe a dog does get along with other dogs, but it can be pretty nuanced too. So it can also depend on the context. Some dogs get along really well with playmates outside the home, but bringing another dog into the home if they have guarding issues around food or resources, that can be problematic. Of course, we're looking at body language in terms of fearful behavior. So your dog tends to back away from other dogs or not engage in play or hide from other dogs or even, you know, it depends on the stage of the animal that you're bringing into your home too. So if you have an older dog and then you're bringing in a young puppy, an older dog with maybe some medical issues like arthritis, or maybe they're slow removing, or perhaps they're more sedentary and they're not really interested in play, that might not be a good match. So I think you're looking at the life stage of your dog, whether or not they have other existing behavioral issues that might make coexisting with another dog in your home not ideal. So there's lots of things to think about and to look at.

Amy Castro (05:33.590)
Yeah. And I think back at my Doberman Pinscher who got along with and played well with our existing dogs, but I could never take him to a dog park. It had to be very, it was very selective and you had to introduce people just right. So I would hate to say, if that's the case, then you shouldn't have another dog, but is going to a dog park or going to the pet store and seeing how your dog reacts to other dogs or would it be better to have friends come over and see how your dog reacts to having a dog in their house?

Dr. Rachel Malamed (05:47.310)
Yeah, mean, most people, those are such different situations, right? So just because your dog, let's say, doesn't want to be in the dog park because it's a pretty unpredictable situation, there's lots of different types of dogs. And even if your dog likes to play with specific individuals or playmates or familiar dogs, that doesn't mean that they're going to be OK in a dog park. And vice versa, a dog can be OK in the dog park and then not get along with a dog in the home. And so I think that there are different situations. I have a lot of clients who have dogs that they coexist with and they play with and they get along well with. But outside the home on leash or unfamiliar dogs, it's a different interaction. But I do think that if you can introduce your dog to other known dogs in a more controlled and systematic way, a more gradual introduction, first outside the home and see how they get along. mean, most people have a sense of whether their dogs get along with other, maybe select familiar dogs and see how they do.

Amy Castro (06:55.000)
Do dogs exhibit loneliness? Like, is my dog gonna be sitting around, you know, heavy sighing at the front door? Or is it just more of a, see what the interactions are like and kind of assess from there? Because people will say, well, my dog's lonely in my first question and I don't want to sound rude. It's like, how do you know that? Or are you lonely and you're projecting that on your dog?

Dr. Rachel Malamed (07:43.544)
I mean, so when we say a dog is lonely, what exactly do we see? And it's sometimes more complex than it seems. Is it distress related to separation from a specific attachment figure? Is the dog showing signs of distress due to being completely alone? Or maybe the dog is under-stimulated and lacking environmental enrichment, exercise, or meaningful interaction with the humans in the home. And so loneliness in dogs is hard to define because some of the behaviors that we interpret as loneliness may actually be there for other reasons. So for example, separation related behaviors is an umbrella term that describes problem behaviors when pets are alone. For example, like destructive behavior or vocalization. But anxiety or separation distress is only one reason. Other reasons could be, like I said, a lack of enrichment, boredom, barrier frustration, alarm barking, or just normal, unruly behaviors or even medical issues. When we think our dogs are lonely, what behaviors are we actually seeing? And then we try to figure out the motivation for that behavior in the context in which they occur and we address it. And, you know, there's really a lack of evidence to show that dogs in multi-dog households exhibit fewer of these behaviors than dogs in single dog households. And when we think of dogs with true separation anxiety, which is a panic disorder related to being away from usually a specific person or caregiver or pet parent. It's not about the lack of companionship from another dog. It's about the separation from that person. So in those cases, getting another dog is not going to solve the problem.

Amy Castro (09:10.000)
No, that's a good point, because I was actually going to ask you about that, because I think sometimes people will have behavior issues with their dogs or separation anxiety and think, well, if somebody else is here, that's going to fix it. And what you're basically saying is, even in households where there's multiple dogs, it's not the other dogs that are fixing it. The dog needs something else. And whether it's you as the human, it needs to be with the human, or whether it needs more enrichment or exercise or whatever it might be, those dogs aren't fulfilling that need. And so that's a pretty good sign if you've got multiple dogs that adding another one wouldn't add to the mix in a positive way. Are there dogs that either by breed or just by temperament? Because everybody, know, the pack, the pack, the pack, and they're pack animals and they want to be around lots of dogs. That's this mentality that we have. But are there dogs that are just happier being by themselves?

Dr. Rachel Malamed (09:54.990)
Absolutely. mean, many dogs are happier without other dogs. You know, I think what they need is predictability, enrichment, and they need their individual needs met. And that can happen without having another dog present. And, you know, I think having a pet parent or family who has the resources to spend time with the animal, to train them, to provide for them. And I think that getting another dog is not a replacement for that. And so that's the first thing that needs to happen is ensuring that you have all the pieces in place to meet that dog's needs rather than getting another dog to serve as a replacement companion. But yes, to answer your question, many dogs are, I think, happier being in a home without other dogs for a variety of reasons.

Amy Castro (10:45.000)
Or at least perfectly content, right? So we talked about some of the issues, behavioral issues or problems we might be having with a current dog and adding another dog to the mix. What would be some examples where adding a dog is just going to make things worse?

Dr. Rachel Malamed (11:05.134)
A second dog can absolutely make things worse. If your current dog has unresolved fear or reactivity or anxiety, obviously there's a lot of different types of anxiety, reactivity and fears. There may be there's competition over food, toys, attention or space, and that could be problematic bringing another dog into the home. Or perhaps you're stretched thin on time or money or energy. So there's often something that we overlook as well is that dogs influence each other's behavior in a sense of social facilitation. So for example, one dog starts barking at a noise and the other dog joins in even if they normally might not react. So you can end up with this feedback loop where behaviors like alarm barking, reactivity, or anxiety become amplified, not reduced. And also when there aren't enough resources like food bowls and safe resting spots or access to you, dogs may enter a state of competition and that can be very stressful and that can also impact their welfare. And then of course they have their individual issues too. So, you know, when you get another dog, one of the risks is that sometimes we don't know what we're getting, right? Because we can't always predict, we can't predict future behavior in a home. Even if we can look at the history, if we're adopting a dog, we can see how they behave in the shelter, but we really don't know how their behavior is gonna evolve in a new environment. And sometimes those behaviors can come out later and we realize that, now I have two dogs with their own individual behavioral issues that I have to address. And so you have to be prepared for that, which is why I say really get a dog because you want another dog, not because you want to fix one dog's problems because that usually doesn't happen. And then you're risking having another set of issues that you need to be prepared to put in the resources and time to deal with.

Amy Castro (13:12.876)
It's difficult. mean, even just something as simple like right now, and it's with cats, but I've got a skinny cat who needs to eat more food, lots of calories, and I have two fat cats that don't need to eat food. And you'd think, it's so simple to just separate them and feed them. It's not that simple. It's a pain in the butt. And a lot of tricks and things trying and running through the house trying to like, come on, cat, let's run back to this room. And it's just a simple thing of the food bowl. Now you add behavioral issues or a big dog and you've created just two times the management, two times the time, two times the expense and you've not solved anything. you really, really.

Dr. Rachel Malamed
Yeah, and then there's resources, right? You need a house of, we always say this with cats, but also with dogs, like a house of plenty, right? Sometimes, you know, it's very common that dogs will guard their resources, right? So we need to make sure that we are helping them feel safe and secure in their environment. And if we have more than one dog, sometimes we do need to feed them separately, or we do need to set up safeguards in our home to make sure that everyone's safe. And yeah, it's a real thing. So even just feeding.

Amy Castro
Well, and we have to do that with our dogs. I've got a bulldog who's about 50 pounds, probably 16 pound terrier and a four pound Chihuahua. And they all have to be separated because somebody's gonna get killed. I mean, it's just, or somebody's gonna get hurt for sure, maybe not killed, but yeah, can't just have food around them. They've got to all go into their houses and get fed. It's definitely a management thing.

Dr. Rachel Malamed (14:48.974)
So it's not just a question of will they get along, it's whether or not you have the structure and support to help both dogs thrive individually and together.

Amy Castro (15:05.000)
Yeah, you might just be creating a pack of hooligans, which is what I have here. But it's interesting you say that because, I mean, my bulldog just as an example is not much of a barker. The Chihuahua, you know, she has her moments. But that terrier, my gosh, she barks at everything and nothing. But she does, you're absolutely right. I mean, she sets everybody off. Now I got three dogs barking out in the backyard. Or the other thing that I find quite hysterical is my neighbors, I've been having my neighbor let their cattle into my pasture. And the bulldog likes to chase after the cows. She can't get to them, but it turns into this thing where everybody's now chasing the cows, including the four pound Chihuahua. And I'm thinking, really? Not only are you four pounds, but you have no teeth. But she's running that fence line. Like, it's just, it's like, like see it do it kind of thing. everybody's just copycatting what everybody else is doing. And it's never anything good. Nobody's ever copying good behavior, at least not at my house. And it's a good thing that they're cows, right? And not some other predatory animal that...

Amy Castro (16:05.614)
Like donkeys that would stop them.
She's like, she has this false sense of security.
I think the fence helps too, but I don't think any of them would be all that brave if they were out on the other side of the fence. But yeah, it definitely becomes three times the amount of whatever the issue might be. Even car chasing, like mine have never been car chasers, but the Terrier likes to run that front fence line. And it's like, guess what? Now everybody's doing it.

Dr. Rachel Malamed

And sometimes too, like when you have two dogs and you're walking them together and one dog is reacting because they're reactive to other dogs on walks or cars, whatever it is, they can redirect to the second dog or they can set off the second dog as well. And so then it becomes a question of, can we walk them separately while we're working on this issue? Do we have the resources to be able to do that, both from a safety perspective, but also from a behavior modification perspective. So sometimes that can be complicated by a second dog as well as just the walks.

Amy Castro (17:12.182)
Yeah, a lot of what it sounds like it comes down to is rather than labeling things with these broad, like my dog is lonely, to really dig into what's your proof of that? What behaviors are you seeing? And then try to identify whether those would be impacted at all by the other animals.

I did want to ask about the behavior issues. Is it important that I have my dog squared away before I bring something else into the house? You know, if my dog's completely out of control and I already struggle with basic obedience stuff and so I can't keep my dog off the counter, I can't keep my dog from jumping on guests or whatever, is it important that I resolve that first or can I work both dogs at the same time. Because maybe it would be a great fit. Maybe you do want another dog, you know, square away the first dog first. But maybe that's just Amy Castro's feeling.

Dr. Rachel Malamed (18:58.378)
I think it just depends on the pet parent and the household. Some are better equipped to take on more animals with potentially more behavioral issues. But I think if you're already feeling taxed and spread thin, that you probably want to focus on that one dog and certainly taking into consideration what their behavioral needs are and if getting a second dog is going to add to their emotional dysregulation, I guess you could say. So yes, I think that before considering getting another pet, being able to teach your dog the basics and ensuring that they have proper socialization and training that if there's any anxiety related or fear related issues that you address those things before having another dog in the mix. And also just assessing the social appropriateness, like do they interact safely with other dogs, even other familiar dogs in the context of your home or resources or their territory per se, if they have guarding tendencies, that's something that you'll want to work on or figure out a management plan. And if you're ready and willing to take that on in your home, because it's not always easy to manage those issues, but also I think it just depends on the pet parent. It depends on their own experience with dogs and their own resources, both emotional and financial, in terms of what they're willing to do or what they can do.

Amy Castro (19:55.000)
Yeah, we recently had a dog that was adopted out and she has a fantastic personality, very passive, very non-aggressive, but she was also completely blind. And the household where she got adopted, they had multiple dogs and they had a whole, like I wouldn't. The bottom line is I wouldn't live like that with I've got to have this dog in here and then I have to move this dog, not the dog that they adopted from us. And I almost hesitated to adopt her into that, but they had such a good system down. But I think that kind of goes back to like, how do you want to live? It's one thing to put your dogs in the crates to separate them when you have food. But if you have little kids that are running around with food in their hand, that's not going to work as well. know, how much are you willing to adapt your lifestyle to managing I think is an important question people need to ask themselves.

Dr. Rachel Malamed (20:30.678)
Yeah, and it has to be the right fit. And it also, you know, we have to look at the risks too. There's safety risks involved too, sometimes to people, depending who lives in the home and also to other animals. And sometimes it's not the right move to increase that risk. And especially if you don't have the space to implement those management strategies. So I think it all comes down to also like the right fit and the lifestyle decision as well, being able to meet the dog's needs, but also considering your own needs and what you're capable of managing within your life.

Amy Castro (20:55.000)
When you've seen it work out well, what are some of the signs that a person might say, I definitely made a good decision on this? mean, beyond, mean, think peace and harmony is obviously a nice one, but you know, that you say to yourself, okay, the first dog really did benefit from getting another dog. Everybody's getting along, you it's a source of exercise for the other, cause that's one of the things that I have noticed when I've had foster dogs is sometimes having that second dog really helps that first dog burn off more steam because they're You know, they both really like to run versus, like I said, Gigi wants to go out front. She wants Gunny to, you know, to, she play bow and she's licking her and she's running and she's turning around. She's looking and Gunny's like, yeah, no, thank you. And then I feel bad for her because she's like, nobody wants to run with you and play with you.

Dr. Rachel Malamed
Well, I don't want to make it seem like it's not a good idea to get another dog, right? Like, it's wonderful to have another dog, right? We just have to be aware of all the things that we talked about. There's many reasons why you shouldn't get another dog, but there's also lots of reasons why you should get another dog. And I know my dog absolutely loves playing with other dogs and like...

Amy Castro (22:00.866)
Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of. Yeah.

Dr. Rachel Malamed (22:22.902)
All contacts, right? And so she would very much benefit from having another dog as long as it's the right fit. whether I can handle having another dog right now is a whole other story. But I think that there's absolutely benefits as far as enrichment and exercise and overall welfare and wellbeing, of having a playmate when two dogs get along really well. I mean, that's incredible. And of course, if it's a right fit in the family and you check all those boxes, right? All the resource boxes, the emotional availability, you have time to train the dogs, you're not relying on one dog fit to fix the other's problems. It can bring a lot of joy, harmony. And again, like I said this last time, it's all about the human animal bond, right? And we get a lot of joy too from watching our dogs have fun and play with other dogs.

Amy Castro (23:45.000)
It sounds like you need to just, you need to go into it asking yourself a lot of questions. And I always tell people like, what's the goal, right? Why do you want to do this? And if you can answer those questions and then do your homework and then the answer is still yes, then, then great, you know, go for it. But if the motive or the goal doesn't match the idea of getting a dog, you don't just kind of go forward and do it anyway.

Dr. Rachel Malamed
And there's also other ways, like if you want two dogs in your household, but you don't want to commit, I mean, there's other ways to do that, right? You can foster a dog. You can pet-sit a dog. can, obviously all the other things still apply. need to make sure it's the right fit and the dogs get along and you've done the introductions properly. So you still need to consider those things. But if you're not sure if you want to take on a commitment, but you still want to have that experience, you can foster, you can pet sit for a friend.

Amy Castro (24:23.296)
Rescues are always looking for fosters. They're always looking for fosters that have existing dogs because that way they can kind of assess from the standpoint of, now I can tell an adopter this dog likes being with another dog, doesn't like being with another dog, likes being with this kind of dog, and it just helps create a bigger picture. And I'm biased, obviously, because I run a rescue, but fostering is a great opportunity to have your cake and eat it too. You get the second dog, you get the benefits of it without lifelong responsibility and without all the expense, because generally the rescue pays for the dog's care.

Dr. Rachel Malamed

Yeah, and you're helping provide resources or space for a dog that otherwise perhaps wouldn't be able to exist.

Amy Castro

So if somebody's listened to all this, the pros, the cons, the things to ask yourself, and they're still kind of like, I'm not really sure, is there something, a couple of quick questions or whatever it might be that would help them make a decision?

Dr. Rachel Malamed (25:45.526)
Yeah, think thinking about these three things. One is capacity, two is compatibility, and three is motivation. So in terms of capacity, do you have the financial, emotional, logistical space to care for two dogs, including emergencies, vet care, training, enrichment, all of that? Compatibility, is your current dog truly social with other dogs in a home environment? You have to look at real world behavior and history, what sort of idyllic memories of puppy play dates from two years ago, and also realizing that you have to find the right fit. And then what is your motivation? So are you getting another dog because you want one? Or do you want to fix a behavior problem that your resident dog currently has? So I think that those are questions to ask yourself and really think about before you delve into adopting another dog. But if you can check off all those boxes and it's the right choice, the right fit, the right time, then getting another dog is absolutely a wonderful thing.

Amy Castro 

So you can go for it if you can say yes to all these questions. And if you can focus primarily on getting their needs met, if you're doing all that, then you probably won't see some of these other things that would make you even think, my dog needs a dog as a companion. So.

Dr. Rachel Malamed

And I think looking at the behavior rather than like the paradigm of loneliness, which can mean so many things, right? Because some dogs are lonely even though they have a family, entire family home with them, but they're all on their phones ignoring the dog. So that's loneliness too. So it doesn't have to be the dog in isolation or the dog away from the attachment figure. It's how we define loneliness. And I think what it really comes down to is looking at the behavior, looking at the circumstances and the context in which the behavior occurs, and trying to understand what the motivation is for that behavior and how to address it, as opposed to just saying, is loneliness.

Amy Castro (27:23.020)
All right, so Dr. Malamed, before I let you go, I know that not only do you provide a service to your clients, but you have a lot of resources available to people. Where can they go to get that information or get in touch with you?

Dr. Rachel Malamed

Yeah, you can visit my website www.behaviordoGtor.com, but doctor spelled D-O-G-T-O-R. I have a Facebook page and a Facebook group, Pet Psychiatry and Behavior Support for Pet Parents. And also my Instagram, @dr.rachelmalamed. I post tips and insights on pet psychiatry and behavior. Sometimes we just need tips instead of a full consultation. We just need a little bit of insight.

Amy Castro
Exactly. Yeah, because there's a lot of noise out there and at least this is a source that you can trust for your tips and for your questions. So I really appreciate you making the time to be here today and be on the show and I appreciate your insight and your expertise.

Dr. Rachel Malamed
Thank you so much for having me, Amy. I really appreciate it. 

Amy Castro

All right. Well, hopefully we'll have you back on again sometimes. All right. And if you're listening and you're on the fence, please treat this decision like a real life changing decision because it's an emotional decision that can turn into a daily problem that leaves both you and the dogs really, really unhappy if it's not thoroughly thought through. So thanks for being part of the conversation and we'll see you next week. Thanks for listening to the Pet Parent Hotline. If you enjoyed the show, don't keep it to yourself.

Amy Castro (28:47.352)
Text a friend right now with a link and tell them I've got a show that you need to hear. And ask them to let you know what they think. And remember, your pet's best life starts with you living yours. So be sure to take good care of yourself this week and your pets.