Are You Waiting Too Long to Let Your Pet Go?

Episode Title
Hospice Vet: How to Know If You’re Waiting Too Long to Let Your Pet Go

Host
Amy Castro

Guest
Dr. Jack Murray

Summary
How do you know when it’s time to let your pet go, especially when your heart keeps asking for more time or one more sign? In this episode, Amy Castro talks with hospice and end-of-life veterinarian Dr. Jack Murray about why this decision so often feels impossible, what pet parents misread when they want to believe their pet is still okay, and why waiting for certainty can come at a pet’s expense. They discuss quality of life, caregiver fatigue, financial limits, the idea of a compassionate window, and how to make a loving, pet-centered decision before a crisis forces one.

Links
Show: The Pet Parent Hotline
Guest: Dr. Jack Murray
Instagram: @drmurrayhospicevet

Veterinary Disclaimer
This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional veterinary advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your veterinarian or another qualified veterinary professional with questions about your pet’s health or medical care.

CHAPTERS

 00:00 How to Know It’s Time
 03:32 The Signs People Misread
 07:57 When the Decision Becomes About Us
 10:52 Waiting for a Sign
 13:10 Caregiver Fatigue, Money, and Limits
 17:38 The Compassionate Window
 23:37 Quality of Life and Planning Ahead 

TRANSCRIPT

Amy Castro, Host (00:00)

How do you know when it's time to let your pet go? Especially when your heart keeps asking for more time or one more sign. Today we're talking about why that clarity often never comes and what love looks like when you have to make the call anyway.

You've reached the Pet Parent Hotline, your lifeline to practical solutions for your toughest pet parenting challenges. I'm your host Amy Castro, and I'm here to help you cut through the noise and turn expert advice into step-by-step strategies so you can stop chasing your tail and start enjoying life with pets again.

If you found this episode because you're in that awful place of wondering if it might be time, I'm really glad that you're here. Today we're talking about one of the hardest parts of loving a pet, and that is knowing when it's time to say goodbye. I'm joined by Dr. Jack Murray, a veterinarian who works in hospice and end-of-life care. And I wanted to have him on the show because he is willing to say the things that a lot of people need to hear, that this decision may never feel clear or comfortable.

that waiting for certainty can come at your pet's expense and that love sometimes means stepping in before the worst day arrives. So today we're talking about what people are really struggling with when they ask, is it time? The signs that they cling to because they want to believe that their pet is still okay and how to make this decision in a way that puts your pet first even when you don't feel ready. So Dr. Murray, welcome to the show.

Dr. Jack Murray, DVM (01:39)

Thank you so much for having me. I'm super excited.

Amy Castro, Host (01:42)

I appreciate you taking the time to do this because I have, ⁓ it's kind of weird to say I've enjoyed your videos when they're pretty much talking about euthanizing pets. But I do enjoy it because I think it's a fresh perspective and it's one that pet parents really need to hear that they may not be hearing from their vet or from other people out on the internet. Why is it so important to you to share the messages that you share and be real honest with people about this subject?

Dr. Jack Murray, DVM (02:11)

Yeah, so I kind of dove into, the end of life and hospice care space right out of school about two years ago. And recently I started sharing my experience and trying to share some educational content on social media because I noticed there really wasn't a lot of information out there about.

pet death and pet passing. And I was finding in these appointments, the owners had a lot of questions So that was one of the reasons I wanted to start sharing some education, start sharing some stories to help relate to people and help provide some guidance and education.

Amy Castro, Host (02:39)

Yeah, and that's another reason that I find your content so incredibly valuable and why I wanted to have you on the show today. So the biggest question I think people have when it comes to end of life with their pets is, you know, is it time? Should I do this? Should I make this decision? What do you think people are really struggling with there? I mean, there's the obvious, like, my pet's gonna be here and then they're not, but what else is going on?

Dr. Jack Murray, DVM (03:03)

I always say it's the hardest decision any pet parent has to make. There's never a perfect time. Unfortunately, you're never going to feel 100 % confident in your decision. And it's also very individualized. There's a lot of different factors coming into it, your pet's quality of life, as well as I'm a big advocate for your quality of life as well. I think that is a big factor in this decision too.

Amy Castro, Host (03:27)

Yeah, yeah, I think of the pets that I've had to euthanize, not only my own personal pets, but the pets in the rescue, every situation brings you to that point where you're asking that question and it kind of comes from a different place. So it's not the same decision over and over again. Sometimes people will say, well, you've done it so many times, it must be easy for you. Well, no, I've learned to ask myself certain questions, so that part is easier, but making the decision is still just as...

as tough. And I think part of that ties to the fact that, you know, what that pet is showing you, the signs that people are looking for, you sometimes they're there, sometimes they're not there, and they're very different. What kind of signs do you think people maybe misread that give them the false hope that maybe my pet's okay?

Dr. Jack Murray, DVM (04:15)

I'd say the biggest one that I see is their pets still eating some treats or some little chicken that they give them or their favorite turkey breast, things like that. ⁓ That is one of the biggest things. I was recently just with a patient that was in almost full-blown respiratory distress. had a mass in its abdomen that was now bleeding and it was having a really hard time breathing as well, but he was still eating. So the owners were still questioning their decision. They were like, is this too soon?

And I was kind of guiding them through the process and explaining all the signs that I was seeing about their pet during this appointment. they were really grateful that they didn't understand or didn't realize nothing against them. They had no idea that their pet was experiencing these things because the pet was still wagging its tail. had a fit's favorite tennis ball. were throwing it at it while it was laying down and it was catching in the air and it was eating, you know, licking peanut butter and eating its treats. ⁓

you while I was there. that can be, you know, one of the biggest things is even if they're still eating, they can still be in pain and their quality of life can be really, really poor.

Amy Castro, Host (05:16)

And why is that? Well, I mean, obviously they can't communicate to us. If I was lying in bed and basically, you know, in my last moments, I would be able to tell you, you know, I feel this, I feel that. But it seems like animals kind of hide it.

Dr. Jack Murray, DVM (05:31)

I would say they they don't want to show us that they're upset They don't want to show us that they're in pain or or suffering at all So they truly will hide it until the end

Amy Castro, Host (05:40)

Mm, yeah. And I think that's part of the reason why people just kind of hang on so long. They're waiting for it to be obvious. ⁓ What do you think is, in your experience, kind of the emotional side for the people themselves that they're holding on?

Dr. Jack Murray, DVM (05:57)

I think the internal conflict can be really tough and a lot of it could be around, know, are we doing it too soon? What if we still have, you know, more good days to come? Can be one of the hardest things because they're all, know, what if we could get past this or kind of get over this hump? You know, and a lot of these senior pets, or some of them I should say, you know, have terminal illnesses, know, chronic kidney disease or some sort of cancer.

that if they've decided not to go through advanced diagnostics and are just treating more palliative or supportively, that they're thinking that they, ⁓ it's just a little bump in the road and it can get, they can maybe bounce back or get a little bit better ⁓ from it, which I would say a lot of times unfortunately it just keeps getting worse.

Amy Castro, Host (06:45)

Yeah, do you feel like the age of the pet plays into it a lot? Is it easier for somebody that has an 18 year old pet versus somebody that might have a 12 year old pet or a 10 year old pet?

Dr. Jack Murray, DVM (06:55)

Sure. Sure. always say like age is not a disease in itself and age is never a reason we should be putting them to sleep. But I do feel like, you know, if you do have a more, you know, older pet, 16, 17, 18, and they do get, you know, some sort of cancer or something they need to be hospitalized for, or, know, get a CT MRI, more advanced diagnostics, each pet is very individualized and each owner makes their own, you know, informed decision. But if they are, you know, really up there 16, 17, 18, 19, some of those owners aren't choosing to go through, you know,

more advanced diagnostics, more advanced testing, like that, and chemotherapy for their pet. I'm not saying that there's never those options, there most certainly are, and I've seen older animals going through these advanced diagnostics and treatments and things like that, but I would say more that kind of the younger ones, 10, 11, 12, 13, that that option is kind of more present in the owner's head. Hey, maybe we should try some chemotherapy, radiation, or maybe we should do this surgery, things along those lines.

Amy Castro, Host (07:51)

Sure. And when you're having conversations with people at your appointments, there's kind of that balance of the best interest of the pet and it's all about the pet. But do you see some elements where there's elements about the person that's causing them to have difficulty with that decision? Like know one that comes to mind pretty easily would be, I love my dog.

My dog's my only family member maybe, or I've heard people say things like, you know, I had my dog before I had my kids. And so it's what that dog means to me and the companionship they provide. What are some of the other things that you think where it becomes human focused more than focused on the pet? Not that that's a bad thing. It's just that- No. That's factor.

Dr. Jack Murray, DVM (08:39)

I would say a lot of times, unfortunately, you know, we're seeing pets from, you know, your parents or from other loved one aunts and uncles that have passed on and now you have taken ownership or care of that pet since they've passed. And those can be, you know, extremely emotional because that's kind of, the last living connection that you have to your past loved one.

One person even described it to me, it's like they were reliving their dad's funeral all over again when we were putting down their dad's dog because that dog reminds you of your dad, your dad has had it for so many years and now he has since passed and now you've been taking care of the dog for a period of time or years and now it can be extremely difficult.

Amy Castro, Host (09:19)

Yeah, so there's a lot of emotional connections that are being pulled at when it comes to making that decision. But I think as human beings, like when a human being is going to pass and their family is with them, they're thinking about what are they going to miss? You know, they're going to miss the granddaughter's wedding or they're going to miss the XYZ anniversary or someone's birthday or the next Christmas or whatever it might be.

And we have all this kind of future focused viewpoint that we're going to miss out on. But what I try to explain to people is that pets don't have that. They're not thinking about, I'm not going to be here next Christmas. And I think because we look at it that way, we're kind of projecting that on the pet. Do you see some of that as well?

Dr. Jack Murray, DVM (10:03)

Yes, most definitely. The holidays are a really big one. You we want them to make it through one more Christmas or, you know, if their birthday is coming up, we want them to make it to, you know, this certain age.

definitely things along those lines, which can be really difficult for the pet, because from your dog or cat's understanding, they just kind of take it day by day. They have no concept of time. They have no concept of holidays, things, know, important birthday. They don't know when their birthday is. You know, they just don't have that part of their brain. They don't have that calendar that we look at every day saying what day of the year it is. So that can be really difficult for them. They're really just feeling, how am I feeling in this moment? How am I feeling today? How am I feeling?

Tomorrow, you know, when they're living those day-to-day moments, this is truly how they're feeling.

Amy Castro, Host (10:46)

Yeah. And I think that also ties in a little bit to, you know, people will say, I even had somebody say it to me yesterday. I was at a dog fundraiser ⁓ yesterday and we were talking, I think we were talking about this episode coming up and somebody said, I think I let things go too long with my one dog and that she was waiting for the dog to tell her. And at some point she felt like the dog just kind of looked at her and there was like a look.

And that was the thing that helped her make that decision. ⁓ Do you hear that a lot? Like people are waiting for a sign from the dog.

Dr. Jack Murray, DVM (11:18)

Yes, I hear it almost every day. And I would say, you know, a lot more often than not, these pet parents are saying they've never really got a sign. mean, sometimes, you know, the dog is most certainly will give you signs and things like that. But a lot of times it's like you're having to come to the conclusion and come to the decision yourself. Unfortunately, a lot of times they're not going to be, you know, a huge overarching sign that your dog is going to give you saying, hey, you know, today is my day and I'm ready to pass on.

And that can make it even harder on us because we are not wanting to make that decision to end their life because it's such a heavy decision. So we're kind of looking for them for that confirmation. that part can be really, really heartbreaking.

Amy Castro, Host (12:00)

Yeah, I know. even I struggle with that. Oftentimes I put the burden on the poor veterinarian to be like, do you think it's time? If it was your pet, would you do this? Like, you don't want to be the one making the decision by yourself because it's irreversible. So once you make it, it's done and you've got to live with the consequences. And I think that's really hard for people.

Dr. Jack Murray, DVM (12:20)

Yes, and a lot of people do. And I always say as a veterinarian, know one thing that really stuck with me from school is it's our job to help explain and inform each pet parent about all the different options of what we can do and make sure that they are making an educated decision. But then it's up to the pet parent to make that decision. I never want to say, hey, mean, unless the animal, you know, is truly suffering and truly has, you know, a significantly decreased quality of life, I am never the one to say, hey, I think we should put your pet down today.

And then, know, of course, you know, giving kind of the spectrum, you know, it's kind of a newer term, but the spectrum of care, think is really important for pet owners to help help have an informed decision.

Amy Castro, Host (12:59)

Yeah, and I'm glad that veterinarians are doing that more. I've seen a lot of people struggling and making economic decisions when it comes to euthanasia because the options presented, the gold standard of care, which awesome, I'm glad that that exists, but not everybody's in the position to do that. And it may not be appropriate in every situation. So, just for people who aren't familiar with spectrum of care, it's just, you know, options

starting from the lowest maybe level of intervention to giving it everything we've got. And then, whether it's taking it in progression or letting the pet parent choose where they are. Because I have seen people spend exorbitant amounts of money on their pets and it's their money to spend and it's their choice. But I think people struggle. Like at some point, I believe that

the human being and their financial capacity to continue to provide care for the pet, the emotional capacity, you when you get older pets who are ⁓ the same person that I was talking about yesterday, you know, her dog was keeping her up all night howling and peeing all over the house. And, you know, it's just, it was a constant job following the dog around. And it's like, at what point do you say, not only is my dog having a toll, but I'm suffering as the human. What are your thoughts on that?

Dr. Jack Murray, DVM (14:18)

Yes, caregiver fatigue is definitely real and definitely plays an important part in this decision making process. I've seen owners that, you know, for the last six months to years.

they haven't left the house together because somebody has always wanted to be home with the dog because like you said, they either have certain cognitive dysfunction or dementia or even the ones that are having seizures and somebody wants to be available to help intervene during those things. And that can be most certainly tolling on the owner that, know, hey, me and my partner have not been able to go out on a date night in the last, you know, two years or we haven't been able to leave the house for more than two, three hours at a time. We haven't been able to go on vacation. And it's not, you know, it can be, you can feel really selfish making that decision, but

Also, you know, if you're not being your best version of yourself for your pet, I always advocate you have to have your cup full as well as, you know, then you're able to help keep your pet's cup full and provide the best quality life you can for your pet. So I'm a big advocate of kind of your mental health as well as is definitely important decision-making factor in this process.

Amy Castro, Host (15:17)

Yeah. And I think that's a huge thing. I think people don't want to say, hey, I can't afford to continue. And I'm a big advocate of being honest with your vet. And it's, there's no shame on that. You know, it's like everybody has a certain threshold of what they can do, what they can't do emotionally, physically, and financially. And I think blending that with what's best for your pet is for me, the very best way to make that decision, not to sacrifice everything, you know, for yourself.

put it into a pet to do what? If you're struggling, like I haven't gone to visit my kids in two years because I've got to stay home because the dog might have a seizure, what are you buying that pet in time? What is that pet getting out of that extra year, six months, a couple of weeks, whatever it might be?

Dr. Jack Murray, DVM (16:08)

Yeah, and kind of going back where we started a little bit ago, it was kind of being prepared and having, you know, have thought through these decisions kind of beforehand. You know, if you have a dog that is getting older or going into its senior years or a cat as well, being prepared and thinking about these options, you know, and like you said, being...

transparent as a veterinarian, I'm not going to judge your financial status, what you're going to spend your money on. Like you said, kind of being transparent and upfront saying, hey, you know, I don't think surgery is on the table for my 12 year old dog, which is perfectly okay. Or saying, hey, I want to do chemotherapy, radiation surgery, XYZ. That's also perfectly okay, you know, but thinking about these things ahead of time, kind of before these.

events happen because you know more often than not it can be some sort of emergent type of venture at the emergency center you know 11 p.m. at night and it's a very emotional decision as well you know most certainly let's do everything to save my pets but then you know what it can be really hard the next couple days to weeks I'm in thousands of dollars of debt and now my pet's quality life is still really really low you know was this worth all of this and I'm definitely not saying you know don't go and choose higher diagnostics but kind of having a thought process if you can beforehand of

going to say, hey, you this is my financial limit that I'm able and willing to spend, or this is my reasonable decision that I want to put my animal through.

Amy Castro, Host (17:24)

Yeah. And that actually leads well into, you had, I think you said it in one of your videos or I read it somewhere related to you about this idea of a compassionate window, which to me was like a total light bulb moment when I thought of that. ⁓ Can you explain that concept, you know, from your perception?

Dr. Jack Murray, DVM (17:45)

It can be people always think kind of end of life is kind of just one, you know, certain period one certain hour one, know certain day and I've been kind of going into the idea of it could be you know, most certainly a compassionate window so if you're you know pet has a terminal disease or You know, or just generally declining as it's as it's getting older ⁓ Kind of this this window where it still has some dignity still has some quality of life left

But you know that this pet is unfortunately not going to be getting better as its life goes on. So still doing it, you maybe while the pet's still eating or still wagging its tail or still has, you know, some sort of good quality of life left, kind of goes back to like the mantra, you know, letting them go on a good day versus a bad day. You know, I just had one a couple days ago that they took him on a big mile and a half walk. They went to Starbucks and got a pup cup. They did a big steak for lunch. And I got there and the dog was just like smiling and beaming ear to ear.

Of course, the owners were like, my gosh, should we be doing it today? And they did decide to proceed with it, but they were very at peace with their decision. Like, my gosh, this dog truly had its best last day possible. that was something, not everybody is able to have kind of that experience with certain emergencies and certain medical problems, but that was like a great example of kind of this compassionate window that.

You know, their dog did have a terminal illness. They were treating supportively, but they did know that, you know, its quality of life was going to be declining, continuing to decline soon.

Amy Castro, Host (19:13)

and why put the animal through that, you know, as that, it's such a great visual, because I can picture the window, right? And so I think of that family that decided to do it. If midpoint was the perfect time, which there never is, and so you don't know where the midpoint is, they did it on the left-hand side of the graph kind of thing. And they made that decision a little bit early so that the ending could be good. I do realize just for anybody that's listening that...

Just like you said, an emergency situation or something happens, an animal gets hit by a car that outside the window comes up fast. It's immediate and you don't have those other opportunities. But for people who let that time go on, like we had the good day and well, let's shoot for another one and another one. And they're getting harder and harder to come. And now we've waited almost too long without being too gory. What does that look like for people? I am hoping that this gives them inspiration not to wait until you're in this.

situation on the other side.

Dr. Jack Murray, DVM (20:10)

Sure,

yeah, know a lot of times it can turn into a real emergency. Your dog is, you know, most certainly struggling to breathe. Your dog, ⁓ you know, you often see paddling and things like that. Unfortunately, you know, natural death is not always a very peaceful process. It can be, you know, pretty graphic and pretty extreme and your dog is, you know, kind of struggling for its last breaths and its last heartbeat. So unfortunately, it's not a very pleasant process to go through. had a...

a recent owner that reached out and scheduled an appointment kind of for later that day. about, you know, 25, 30 minutes after he originally scheduled, he reached back out and kind of explained that his pet passed on its own. And that was, I, you know, went and he would, he needed help with aftercare for his pet. So I went and was talking with him and he, was, you know, very surprised by, by how the natural process of death actually looked like in his pet. And he, you know, wished that he would never.

have to go through that again because it was very intense. ⁓ So that is definitely something a lot of times, know, certain cancers or other processes can cause, you know, lot of respiratory problems where they're truly like their whole energy and their whole focus is to keep their lungs working and keep breathing as the pet. So that can be, you know, a really difficult thing. I mean, every day we're getting, you know, urgent requests, you know, through our booking system that

that pet owners are saying, can anyone come out right now? I really need your help type of situation. Um, because their dog, you know, a lot of times it's these bigger dogs that aren't able to get up as well. So that can be hard that they're, you know, unable to get them to the vet type of, of situation. So that is kind of another one. Now they're, you know, splayed out kind of on, on the ground, unable to get up and, and panting and vomiting and things like that, that are kind of, you know, really, really end of life type of, of their, their system shutting down, unfortunately.

Amy Castro, Host (22:01)

And for people who haven't experienced that, it's something you don't want to experience. And that's why kind of the whole impetus for this episode was to highly encourage people not to wait. every day that you're waiting, especially when you kind of know it's time, it is just a possibility that you're going to put yourself and your pet in that situation. And it's not good and nobody wants to experience it. And I think people have this perception that

the natural death is gonna be a more peaceful death and it's not.

Dr. Jack Murray, DVM (22:35)

Yes, yeah, I mean, of course, you know, everyone has kind of the idea we would love for our pet just to pass peacefully in his sleep over the nights and things like that. would say that does happen, but I would say, you know, more often than not, you know, unfortunately, it's a more kind of extensive process. And I, you know, tell this story about my own grandmother who passed recently that she was on hospice for 27 days and.

of those 27 days for 17 of them. She wasn't eating, she wasn't drinking, she couldn't open her eyes, but she had a heartbeat and she was breathing. And, you know, they were giving her pain medications and things like that the whole time, but the death process a lot of time is very drawn, it can be drawn out as well, you know, depending on what else is going on in the body. So unfortunately, it's not, you know, something that's usually going to happen pretty quickly, you know, in a couple hours or overnight.

Amy Castro, Host (23:22)

And I think about making that decision within that compassionate window, which might be a fairly wide window, depending upon what's going on with your pet. ⁓ If I called you up and I was like, hey, I feel like that it's coming, but we're not there yet. You know, I'm quite sure that we're not there yet. What would be some things that I would look for that would say, it's time or we're getting close and now the window has opened and...

now is your opportunity to create a certain experience like that client you said that had the day out and the steak and the, mean, that sounds great. I mean, what a great memory to have the last day with your pet. So how do we kind of plan for that? I know you can't plan 100%, but.

Dr. Jack Murray, DVM (24:04)

Yes, I always, you know, considering quality of life, there's kind of two levels to it. The first one is kind of more emotional base. And I always say, you know, pick the top three or five things your dog loves to do every day, whether that be going for a walk or meal time or sitting watching Netflix. You know, pick your top five things that they love to do. And when they stop, you know, finding interest in those things every day is definitely something to consider as well.

And then kind of the other part of it or level two is kind of more quantitative or numbers based. love a quality of life chart. So it's a chart that goes, you know, has a list of a series of different questions and you rank them, you know, zero to 10. And then it actually gives you a number. And of course, you know, this number is not the Bible, but it really helps you quantify. I just had an owner yesterday and she filled out the quality of life chart and

You know, certain ones have certain numbers and the one that she did had a threshold of like 25. And if your dog, you know, was below a 25, it was, you know, definitely recommending to consider. It had a poor quality of life and to, you know, talk with your veterinarian. And she filled out this quality of life chart and she got a two, which was, you know, extremely low. And she was, she's like, my eyes just, you know, got so big. She went and talked with her husband and she was like, oh my gosh, our pet truly has no quality of life left. like I said, it's.

definitely on the Bible and don't have to take it word for word, but it's a tool and a resource to help guide this decision in conjunction with the other factors as well. CodaPet has a really strong online interactive quality of life questionnaire as well. So that is something, you know, going online, there's a lot of great resources that can kind of be interactive. You can really put a lot of information in about your pet and kind of help guide this decision as well.

Amy Castro, Host (25:42)

Yeah, I mean, we can put a link in the show notes to that as well. So I think the key that people need to, and you know, it's a quality of life scale. So it's not saying you should euthanize your pet or you should not euthanize your pet. What it's basically saying is, here's like that poor lady, know, under 25 is not good quality of life. Your pet is at a two. So your pet has a very poor quality of life. I feel like that makes the decision so much easier. Like this is the way my pet is living regardless of.

The fact that he's not able to tell me that with words, think it's objective instead of subjective and emotional. for somebody that's listening right now, and I think the compassionate scale or scoring system, I think is super helpful. I think people are just looking for much more clarity. What do you think somebody can do beyond that to get that clarity so they can feel?

not good about the decision, but feel like they're making the right decision. I think that's probably one of the biggest fears is that I made a mistake, I made the wrong decision, I should have waited, whatever the case may be.

Dr. Jack Murray, DVM (26:49)

Yes, I would say a lot at the time if you're able to talk with other people who have gone through this process or had to make this decision. I know there's a lot of, you know, pet loss support groups out there as well as there's even, you know, becoming some more, you know, niche ones, you know, with certain pet illnesses or certain pet diseases or cancers that are really helpful in kind of sharing. I'm, you know, always as hard as it is, I'm always an advocate of, you know, if you're able to help share your pet story and kind of what your decision process was.

that helps five, 10, 15 people that are also going through that same problem in the same difficult thought process. So I think if you're able to talk with other people who have made this decision or talk with your friends, family, loved ones that you trust that can help guide you through this decision as well, based off of what they've experienced and what they've done.

Amy Castro, Host (27:36)

Yes, seek that support and different information. But in the end, you know, obviously you're the one that's going to have to make that decision. But you know, the concept of any decision that you make, if you make it based on love, it's the right decision. You get the information you can, you love your pet, you feel like you're doing the right thing, then you are, period.

Dr. Jack Murray, DVM (27:59)

Yes, most definitely. And I would say, you know, it's my job as a veterinarian to support you in that decision. I, know, I'm never going to do something that I don't support or I don't back the pet owner on. So I'm, I'm always very apparent and transparent that I am certainly, you know, supporting them in this decision. Because like you said, it is, it's made a hundred percent with love.

Amy Castro, Host (28:18)

any final thoughts or something that can help somebody feel better about this whole process. Because it's not great, but I think you can create a good scenario or you can not take any time to create anything and then it might just end up being a not so great scenario for you and your pet.

Dr. Jack Murray, DVM (28:35)

Yes, I would say final thoughts would be trying to have a plan in place. It's not always possible for every scenario, but like we've kind of touched on throughout this episode, thinking about these things ahead of time, you know, long before your pet is in its senior years, long before your pet ever gets sick can really, really help this process become smoother. You know, talking to your loved ones, your family members, hey, would we, you know, want to do surgery with our pet or is this something we would do and getting everyone's opinion? Cause you know, we all have free will, we all have, you know, a different thought process inside of our heads on what

we truly think is right. So having these conversations beforehand, before you're placed in a really high stress, high emotional situation, you know, where you're having to decide, sometimes you only have minutes to decide or 30 minutes, you know, if the pet is really declining, things like that, then you know what we should do for next steps.

Amy Castro, Host (29:21)

Yeah, so that just makes it little bit easier to share what you want for your pet, especially if it does end up being a stressful situation in the end. So, all right, well, you know, Dr. Murray, I really appreciate you taking the time to be here today. I just was so inspired by your videos I think everybody needs to hear them and see them and experience them like I did.

Dr. Jack Murray, DVM (29:41)

Yes, thank you so much for having me.

Amy Castro, Host (29:43)

Sometimes the kindest decision is the one that hurts the most. But waiting for more certainty does not always protect your pet. And sometimes it costs them the peaceful ending you were hoping to give. If this conversation helped you to think about that in a clearer, more pet-centered way, I'm so glad. And please share it with someone who might need it right now too. And if you're wondering what a peaceful goodbye at home can actually look like, Dr. Murray and I have a short companion bonus episode coming this Wednesday on in-home euthanasia.

and a few practical things to think through ahead of time. Thanks for listening to the Pet Parent Hotline. If you enjoyed the show, don't keep it to yourself. Text a friend right now with a link and tell them, I've got a show that you need to hear. And ask them to let you know what they think. And remember, your pet's best life starts with you living yours. So be sure to take good care of yourself this week and your pets.